Pneumonia: From Boston to Beginner...

It has been a ridiculously long time since I last posted, so I hope maybe someone out there is still reading my blog. Maybe, just one person, please??

Sooooo... what have I been doing the past three months? Um, not much. Mother's Day weekend, I got pneumonia, and folks, it is still kicking my butt. The coughing is gone for the most part, but the weakness, fatigue and lack of endurance still linger. It has absolutely sucked. I mean SUCKED! I've never had an illness that has so completely wiped me out like this. Yes, if you have read my posts in the past, I get alot of upper respiratory crap. I officially have chronic upper respiratory issues. What can I do? We have terrible air quality in Houston most of the time, and my allergies act up often, and instead of the symptoms just staying in my head, they immediately go to my lungs and blow up.

That being said, obviously my running has suffered, greatly. I'm not kidding when I say I feel like a beginner again. I took a month off, and have been struggling ever since. I can get about 5-6 miles in before I have to stop, rest, walk, and I think the most I've managed is 11 miles. I tire very quickly and my breathing isn't great. Its the most frustrating thing for me right now, because I really do enjoy running, but I don't enjoy sucking at it. My pace is embarrassingly slow for me, but I do what I can to get in the exercise.

And that's what running is now for me...just exercise. I have decided not to train for a race this year, and am deferring NYC until next year. I just can't do it, I can't motivate myself and find the energy to put into running what I need to to get through a marathon in three months. Plus, honestly, I'm beyond burned out. I trained so hard the past couple of years to improve my marathon times, BQ and run Boston well, and I didn't get my usual break in the spring, so I should have known I'd be toast.

So, thanks pneumonia and burn-out! You've made me a beginner again.

I should note that it doesn't help that its 300 degrees outside in Houston these days with 800% humidity. I don't think that's an exaggeration...

Other stuff -

My mom: Sigh. She continues to struggle with infections. She was FINALLY allowed to go home home in May after being in the hospital and a skilled nursing facility since January. Then a couple of weeks ago, she got some more infections and ended up back at MD Anderson. She was released last week, but with IV antibiotics and an infection drain tube and bag. She has a nurse coming in to help her and teach her how to hook up her IV bags.

I can't begin to tell you what toll all of this has taken on my family. For almost two years, we've dealt with my mom's illnesses, surgeries, infections and near death, while also dealing with the death of my dad's parents within five months of each other last year, and other health/personal issues that have swallowed up time and energy. I'm broken down and have emotionally checked out. I just don't care about things right now. I don't have the energy to. Its been too much for me to take and something has snapped. Not postal snapped, but the apathetic button is pushed in and stuck. The only thing I really enjoy right now is work. While I've always loved my job, I've never been one to wake up and think "yippie! another work day!" But now I do, I think because it allows me to focus on something else besides personal drama for 9-10 hours, and its a relief. I wish I still had running to look forward to right now...

Remodeling: I do have one thing going on that I'm sort of excited about, at least as excited as I can get about anything right now...I'm about to embark on some major remodeling in my home. New tile in the entry and guest bath, new cabinets and tile in the kitchen and master bath, granite throughout, built in entertainment center and a built in desk in my office space. Wow. Its going to be a fun, challenging, and long process for sure (not to mention costly...yikes! Goodbye savings!), but I have a great contractor. I need to pick out cabinets and tile and granite in the next couple of weeks, then it should be underway! I'll post pictures of the progress.

Hope everyone is well in the blogging world!

Glad to be back...