Why I've been missing in action...

Have I got a story for you!

First of all, a running update: Running? What's that?

I have a very good excuse:

(I posted this on Facebook and thought my blogging friends might be curious where I've been lately...Here you go...)

Two weeks ago tomorrow, my mom started hemorrhaging and was taken to the hospital in College Station. It was deemed that the bleeding was caused by an infection in the area where she had colon surgery a couple of months ago. She received a unit of blood, was transferred to the ICU and was pumped full of antibiotics. It was thought that the antibiotics would stop the bleeding and it seemed to have worked. On that following Thursday, she was transferred out of ICU. Overnight she started bleeding again, alot, and was transferred back to ICU. I went into town on Friday, and she was clearly very sick. Her heart rate would soar as she lost blood, then would stabilize when she received a transfusion. Discussion ensued about getting her to MD Anderson for surgery, which was now necessary but risky because of the area and scar tissue build up. It was not something anyone wanted to do but we had no choice now.

Side note...why MD Anderson? She does not have cancer but did have very aggressive radiation treatment over 13 years ago in her left abdomen/hip area to treat her cancer then. In the past year, she has had a kidney removed and colon surgery and has bone deterioration, all resulting from the radiation damage. Why were we just seeing all of these affects now? Her doctors were expecting to give her 5 more years, not 13+, so now she is dealing with dying tissue and cells that were so damaged.

Anyway, when my dad and I arrived at the hospital the next morning (last Saturday) we were expecting to meet with the doctors and determine how to get her to MD Anderson that weekend. Instead, when we walked into the room, my mother was yelling in pain and was losing a lot of blood. She looked terrible, and I sat at her bedside wiping her face and forehead with cold washcloths. They gave her more transfusions but they only seemed to work for a while. Things became even more dire over the next hour as doctors were scrambling and arrangements were being made for life flight.

It was during this time that we had to say goodbye to my mom. She didn't think she was going to make it and neither did we. It was heartbreaking. We called my brother and sister in law so they could talk to her and say goodbye too. My dad and I were just in a state of shock at how quickly things plummeted. Finally, the life flight people arrived, and by that time, doctors were literally pushing blood into her as she was losing it so quickly. We watched the helicopter take off, and we too left for Houston. My dad was heading straight to the hospital and I was heading to the airport to pick up my brother and sister in law, who caught the next flight out of Dallas.

The chopper flight to Houston was to be about 30 minutes. I remember thinking on the way "okay, my mom's in surgery now." Well, as I was about to get to the airport, my dad called and said the helicopter never made it to MD Anderson because of the weather. We had no idea where she was and were absolutely freaked out, certain she would not survive this delay, and who knows what was being done to her at this other hospital. When we all finally made it to MDA, we found out the helicopter had to stop at a hospital in north Houston and Mom was driven in an ambulance to MDA.

The next thing I remember was the team of doctors coming to talk with us. They had scanned her to identify the exact source of bleeding, which ended up being a burst artery, not her colon, and the burst was most likely caused by a back up of blood caused by a clot in her left leg. They were able to seal the artery without major surgery. At that time, they gave her a 50/50 chance of surviving and warned us of organ failure and the possibility of her losing her leg. It was a grim diagnosis. They also told us that if they immediately did surgery before the scan, she would have bled to death.

So we waited to see her in the Critical Care Unit that night, absolutely exhausted and emotional. We were told she was given a paralytic drug to keep her from moving around, and that she wouldn't be responsive, which was the case when we saw her. It was hard to see, because she was so pumped full of fluids and blood that she was very swollen, and wires and tubes were sticking out of her everywhere. I made some difficult phone calls to concerned family and friends. We decided to leave and get something to eat, because we had some long days ahead.

As we got close to my house and were preparing to find a restaurant, my dad received a call from the cardiovascular doctor to come back to the hospital. We headed back to meet with the doctor, who informed us that he found no signs of brain activity or function, and that she was either severely brain damaged or brain dead. They were going to run the brain function tests overnight but we should expect the worst. We asked about the paralytic drug and was told she was not given one. We were beyond devastated. As we comforted each other in a state of absolute despair, my brother and sister in law went in to see my mom. They said she slightly responded with head movements a couple of times, but that did not happen when my dad and I were in the room. We truly believed she was gone and that the next day, we would be making some tough decisions.

No one slept last Saturday night. We were beyond shocked and devastated. I cannot even begin to describe the feeling of your guts being ripped out. The drive to the hospital the next morning was very somber. We got to my mom's room, and upon seeing her motionless and swollen, and presumably brain dead, my dad and I lost it. We went into the hallway, but there was no consoling each other. My mom was gone.

Then, I remember my brother coming around the corner and telling us that she was trying to open her eyes and wanted to communicate by writing (a breathing tube kept her from talking). We rushed in and sure enough, she began to respond to our voices. She was in restraints to keep her from pulling everything out but it was clear she wanted to write. We got her a paper and pen, but the writing was pretty illegible and we were not understanding what she was trying to communicate. Then she took the pen and started making a bunch of circles, like you do when you try to get the ink in your pen to work again. It was like a game of pictionary...circles, circular, circulation, coil, etc...all which got a "no" headshake from my mom. Then she started thrashing her arms around and I tried to get her to calm down, and I thought she's alive, but there is clearly some brain damage. Then she wrote again, very clearly, the word "helicopter." A-ha! The circles and movement of her hands were trying to ask us about the helicopter! She thought she was still in College Station waiting to get on the helicopter. We explained what happened, and she wrote "what's next?"

As hard as it was to feel the lowest of the low Saturday night and Sunday morning, in about a minute, we were going to the highest of the high. My mom was alive and communicating. We were giddy, really. We spent the rest of the day trying to wrap our minds around what happened and how quickly devastation turned to hope and optimism. Relief is the best way to describe it. On Monday, she was stable enough for doctors to do an artery bypass in her leg to save it.

As the days have passed, she keeps improving beyond expectations. She has now been moved out of ICU into a regular room, and there is talk about releasing her to a rehab center in Bryan/College Station in the next few days, depending on what some scans of the affected area show on Monday . She has a very long recovery ahead of her but we remain very hopeful that she will eventually make a full recovery. She is fully communicating, is alert, and her swelling has gone down a ton. She's anxious to get out and start therapy and hopefully get full use of her leg back. She has had some bleeding here and there, but no one is concerned, and she has certainly not needed more transfusions.

As close as my family was before this, we became even closer during this time, sharing our emotions and being there for each other, thinking the worst then experiencing the best. We are all just beyond exhausted but find it hard to complain because we could have easily been planning a funeral right now instead of trying to get some rest here and there.

Events that I find interesting and fascinating, how everything that seemed disasterous at the time came together perfectly:

1. If the life flight didn't get to College Station when it did, the doctors there were prepared to open her up and stop the bleeding. If surgery had happened, she would have died because the source of the bleeding was not where it was thought to be.
2. The chopper left College Station with two units of blood. Being forced by weather to land before their destination most likely saved my mom's life, as they ran out of blood and got another 10 units from the hospital they stopped at. All ten units had been used at the hospital and in ambulance transit.
3. The doctor at MDA said my mom literally did not have another minute to spare. This happened on a Saturday morning...during the week, traffic would have been unbearable on 290.
4. All in all, in about a 24+ hour span, she received over 20 units of blood (I think. There are a couple of different calculations floating around), about twice the amount normally in her body.
5. She did indeed receive the paralytic drug, which explains why she was non-responsive Saturday night. Apparently that drug even paralyzes your pupils and reflexes.


Soooo, I'm ready to get back to running! Comfort food is indeed comforting but my waistline is disappearing!

A runner's holy grail...

I have found it! Its no secret to runners everywhere but it has the most magical powers...the foam roller!! I FINALLY tested out my legs this week, getting in an easy 3 miles on Monday and 4 miles this morning, and my left leg is feeling much better, though I am still having some soreness in my glute and IT band. I've been using the foam roller religiously this week. And a new pair of shoes helps.

What to do, what to do? Since my leg has been sore for quite some time and I've taken alot of time off from running, I need to seriously consider not running the full in Houston in January and switch to the half. I'm very conflicted, and very concerned that if I run the full and its a great day, I'll push myself and end up needing even more time off. I don't want to have lingering issues for Boston.

But then again, this is my hometown marathon, and I've run 5 in a row, and I see it as a "long run" before Boston, and I feel a little like switching to the half is giving up in some way. I don't know. I've never dealt with such lingering issues, never had such a difficult time recovering from a race. And honestly, I've struggled big-time with motivation (until this morning...had a pretty good run) and am not sure I want to run another marathon before Boston. Sigh... I just don't know what to do. Help?

My spirits would definitely be lifted if the Aggies would win the football games they are supposed to!! Grrr...

Pictures of the day:

Its official !

Got my Boston Marathon confirmation card today! Woo hoo!! Now I just need to get my butt back to running. A two week layoff seems like eternity...



Funny thing is, I had a dream last night that I was running the Chicago Marathon again, but this time is was really hilly, like up and down, up and down, and I stopped at a friend's house at mile 10, had a sandwich, watched some TV, and then realized it was dark outside and the marathon was over. Oops.

Halloween pics...

Since I still haven't started running again (soon, very soon, I hope!), I don't have an update in that department, except that I've had a minor set-back...trying to open a stuck window over the weekend resulted in a pulled muscle in my back. At least I think its just a pulled muscle...I'll find out more tomorrow when I visit my doctor. Pain meds and muscle relaxants have been my best friends this week. Unfortunately, sitting down is most bothersome, and lucky me, I am at my desk most of the time at work. I'm now contemplating switching to the Houston half marathon instead of trying the full. We'll see...

Anyway, I had a wonderful time in Dallas last weekend trick or treating with my niece and nephews. I really enjoyed spending some time with them and my brother and sister in law. What an adorable family they are!

Me (Auntie Kiki), Buzz Lightyear and Spiderman:


Me and my favorite Fairy Princess:


Trick or treat!


Collecting candy for her daddy and Kiki!


Re-inspecting the loot the next morning:

Twiddling my thumbs in boredom-ville.

This taking time off from running is tough! We finally have some awesome cool weather and I'm being a couch potato. Actually, I'm getting alot of stuff done around my house and have had two great massages. My leg/calf/hip/knee/IT band no longer hurt when I walk. I'll start cross-training on Monday and will try a short run or two by next weekend. Got to break in my new shoes sometime!

My friend and fellow running coach Dave pointed out that because the Chicago course was so flat and there wasn't much change in the terrain, I used the same muscles the entire run instead of engaging other muscles like you would on a hilly course, and that might be a really valid reason why my recovery was difficult this time. Then again, Dave ran Chicago and then two weeks later ran Marine Corps, so his sanity is questionable...

During my downtime, I thought it would be funny to dress my cat Millie in a Halloween costume. She didn't think it was so funny...



*** HAPPY HALLOWEEN ***

The art of recovery.

First of all, CONGRATS to some of my readers who ran the Houston Half this morning:

Jenny Shenny (one of my very best friends, who is truly an inspiration, and funny as hell)
Jamoosh (who was looking strong and focused)
Neeraj (who I completely missed on the course, probably because he ran so fast he was blurry)
Evan (who I FINALLY got to meet in person!)
Karen (who is back from Abu Dhabi, for a while)
Bob (who was surrounded by ladies and having a great time)
Pattie (who wasn't feeling well but persevered)
Dennis (who has like 17 jobs, so I'm not sure he reads this anymore)
Doug (who looked like he was having a solid run)
Felix (who is a stud runner period. I hope he reads my blog, maybe??)

I really enjoyed cheering everyone on! At first it was tough to be on the sidelines, but then I realized what a great experience watching a race is. I was filled with a sense of pride, not only for my friends and running buddies, but for everyone who made the decision and commitment to run. As I watched runners in all shapes, sizes, ages and speeds pass me, I wondered what motivated each one and what their stories were. I'm sure there were some of the following:

• first timers
• those trying to lose weight
• those who have lost alot of weight
• those who just had a baby, or are expecting and don't know it yet
• those who are recovering alcohlics/drug users
• those who were running with a hangover
• those who are smokers or those trying to or have quit
• those who have no support from family or friends (this breaks my heart)
• those who had every member of their family cheering them on
• those who are new grandparents
• those who just lost a loved one
• those who have recovered from a serious injury
• those who have cancer or are survivors
• those who are getting married
• those who are getting divorced
• those who lost their job
• those who landed the job of their dreams
• those who are physically/mentally abused, or are doing the abusing
• those who have murdered someone and dumped them in the woods

I didn't say that all of my thoughts made the sense, but it really does make you wonder who is out there and what their stories are. Absolutely fascinating to me.

Marathon recovery: I will admit, running as well as I did in Chicago made me feel invincible. That's probably why I did not use any sense whatsoever in my post-marathon recovery, and now I'm paying the price. Truth is, I'm just a pretty decent runner who had a really great marathon, nothing more, nothing less. If I had had my wits about me, I would never have attempted the 8 mile run I did last week and the 12 mile run I did yesterday, especially given the cramping I experienced during the marathon and the long time it took for soreness to subside.

When I ran 8 miles last week, I was sore, but I chalked it up to lingering aches from the race and thought that I just needed to warm up my muscles and get them going again. I don't think there is anything wrong with that plan, maybe I should have just done 6 miles, but what I did and did not do next has caused more problems than I started with.

This past week, I did nothing...no cross-training, no running. That is mostly because my grandmother passed, her funeral was Monday, I was still not feeling 100%, and I was emotional and tired. So what do I do? I decide that its okay for me to run an easy 12 miles on Saturday. Big mistake. I don't care who you are, there is nothing "easy" about 12 miles. But hey, I'm a Boston qualifier, I can do anything. Yeah, not so much. Hello reality.

The weather was nice and cold, by Houston standards, for the run on Saturday. But as soon as we started, both of my Achilles started to hurt as did my left glute. I thought I could run through it, but by the time I stopped at the rest stop around mile 6-7, the pain in those areas had not ceased or eased up. It may have been worse. However, I was determined to make it back to the start using a few shortcuts to cut my mileage. My motivation? The fact that I had not really worked out much and have been eating like a pig, and I wanted to burn as many calories as possible. Well, after the run, I was in bad shape...it hurt to walk (Achilles) and it felt like I had been shot in the butt. By the end of the day, my knee hurt, my hamstring was ridiculously tight, and my IT band was bothering me. Fabulous. Because I ran hurt, I ended up injuring other areas of my leg, most likely because I was compensating for what hurt during my run.

I immediately decided that I would take two solid weeks off of running. It is not worth aggravating nagging injuries and/or injuring myself further. I have too much to look forward to. I'm mad at myself, because really, I knew better. I'm experienced enough to know that for me, I need a really solid recovery period after a marathon. But now I will use the elliptical, get massage therapy, and am entertaining some physical therapy. My biggest fears are Achilles tendonitis and a prolonged IT band problem. I hope its not too late to play it safe and smart...

Moral of the story: Do as I say, not as I do...

Oh yeah... How about those AGGIES!!!! WHOOP!!!!! Last time we beat Tech in Lubbock, I was a senior in College. Trust me, that was quite a while ago. And for the record, we didn't just beat Tech, we kicked their asses.

Post-marathon blues...

Ugh. I hate post-marathon depression and utter lack of motivation. No matter how well I do in a marathon, I always feel a bit of a let-down once the event I trained so hard for is over. Yes, I still have Houston and Boston to look forward to, and I'm sure I will snap out of this rut soon, but motivation is hard to come by this week. One reason for that is my wonderful grandmother, Mom C, passed away last Friday, and her funeral was Monday. I will post a tribute to her when I get some more time and I'm not so easily overcome with emotion...the floodgates opened wide this week...we were very close.

And, why is it than when a marathon is over and I cut back my miles for recovery, I still eat like I'm in serious training mode??

Running update: I ran a recovery 8 miles with my group on Saturday, and it was a very nice run with some cooler temps. I was still sore in many places, and the run helped me identify what hurt and if I should be concerned about anything. No to the latter, and I'm just fine now...all recovered! I plan to run about 11-12 miles in the morning with our runners training for the San Antonio Marathon, as tomorrow is their big 21 miler! Then on Sunday morning, I will be out to cheer on my friends running the Koala/Luke's Houston Half. Wish I was running it, but I know myself...I would not be able to just take it easy out there while I'm still recovering a bit. Plus, there are hills and its a dreaded three loop course. Blah.

Hey Jamoosh! Your wall of fame definitely needs the 26.2 Princess. Just sayin' (or shamelessly plugging).

Picture of the day:

My Chicago Marathon report...

(Warning - This is long. Clif Notes version here.)

The Wednesday and Thursday before Chicago, I was sick. Stay at home and sleep all day kind of sick. I was very upset and started taking every allergy/cold/flu over-the-counter pill, inhaler, expectorant, etc. that I could get my hands on. The last thing a runner wants is to get sick days before the marathon. So with a congested head, sore throat and gross cough, I boarded the plane to Chicago on Friday. My plan was to get in, go to bed, get up, eat pasta, go to bed, and hit the expo on Saturday morning, then spend the day back in bed. Hahahahaha...

Friday:
It was 44 degrees and raining when we landed. I hopped on one of those downtown hotel shuttles, and proceeded to sit in a van, in traffic, with the heat on full, for about 1.5 hours. The van driver dropped me off at the wrong hotel ("its just around the corner," no, it was two blocks away), and when I finally made it to the hotel and got checked-in, I decided it was time to hit the drugstore to replenish all of my medications and syrups. I eventually found a Walgreens, got my stuff, and was overwhelmed with the need and desire to get cheese popcorn from Garrett's. I walked several blocks in the rain and cold to get this delicious goodness. It was indeed worth it. I was happy.

I took my medicine and decided to unpack before I went on my search for spaghetti. As I was laying everything out, I realized to my horror that I forgot to bring my beloved running skirt! At this point, I did not know if I would wear just the skirt or some running pants on marathon day, so the skirt was essential (I always wear something over running pants anyway). I was so mad, so tired, that I started to cry. I went back outside and walked a couple of blocks to Niketown, which was a zoo. I found a skirt, but it was a size too big. I bought it anyway, thinking I would just pin it at the waist. Which required me to go back to Walgreens for large safety pins. Anyway, outside of Niketown, they had on the wall the names of every runner for the marathon (stupid cell phone camera blurriness):



Running skirt in hand, I headed back to the hotel and got my pasta, and a glass of wine, which was much needed, though I don't usually drink 48-72 hours before a marathon. At some point during my meal, I decided I was not happy with the larger skirt, so yes, I headed back out, this time to Nordstrom's. They have Nike stuff there, and by sheer luck, I found the skirt in the size I needed!! I also found a really awesome green coat. I was happy again...

Saturday:
I literally shot out of bed when my alarm went off at 7:30...I thought it was Sunday and that I was late for the race. That'll wake you up really fast! I felt a little better, and the rain was gone. I headed for the expo. Since I got there when it first opened, there weren't huge crowds, so I can say that the expo was nice and big and easy to get around, but, meh, it wasn't anything to get excited about. I browsed some of the booths, but really just wanted to get my bib and chip and tyvek for in the morning. But, something caught my eye...


Its like a sign from above!!!

And then it was nappy time. Ahhh...

Saturday evening I headed to CPK for some thin crust BBQ chicken pizza. I like to eat pizza the night before the marathon, and I had this pizza before my 21 miler, which ended up being a really good run, so my superstitious self decided this was the only option. It hit the spot. I set three alarms for in the morning, cleared my mind of any race plans, hopes, dreams, and got a very sound night's sleep.

Sunday, Marathon day:
When I woke up, first thing I did was check the weather channel. This was it...the weather was going to determine my plan. It was calm and 31 degrees. OMG, I have just been handed the best gift. It was then that I knew I could very possibly and realistically qualify for Boston today. I wore capri running pants, my skirt, a jog bra, and a long sleeve top for the run. I put on tyvek pants and a $3 sweatshirt from Walgreens to toss before the race started. I was feeling as good as I could have hoped, with just a slight cough and some runny nose issues. I walked the mile or so to the starting area, checked in my bag, and headed to my start corral. Luckily, my finish in Houston this year qualified me for one of the start corrals (C). (I've decided that qualifying for a start corral is the only way to go, and once you do, you don't want to go back...sort of like flying first class...). Anyway, I gathered with the 3:40 pace group. I needed a 3:45 to BQ, but something told me to run with the 3:40s, which would give me some room if I fell back. We are trained to not go out fast, but at this point, I was either going to qualify or I was going to be carried off the course on a stretcher...that is how hard I was planning to push myself. And, I had no idea if the pacers were going to be accurate...everyone knows that those in Houston are definitely not, so my trust in pacers was no where near 100%.

And we were off. The first several miles were uneventful, except for the near trampling a couple of people around me almost experienced. Man, it was tight and merciless in the 3:40 group. I knew people meant business. The route took us north near the lake and through the zoo area. Then we headed back south for miles 8-12, and this is where my first doubts crept into my mind. I was starting to stuggle, all mentally, and for about 30 seconds, I considered quitting, thinking that I was sick and emotional and running this fast and hard was not a good idea and that I was going to fail myself and my family if I had a crappy run. Obviously, I rallied, and I finished the first half in 1:49:58. By far the fasted I have run a half, and I was three minutes ahead of where I needed to be to finish in 3:45. Okay, a very little bit of breathing room. I was feeling better.

Miles 13-19 or so took us through some neighborhoods, I think. In all honesty, I was so focused on my running, listening to my body, making minor adjustments, and planning the next mile that I hardly looked at my surroundings during the entire race. Its like my head and neck didn't want to move from side to side. I kept my eyes straight ahead, always making sure I had the pacers in my sight. It was around this time that I wanted to quit again, and then changed my mind again. Mile 19 in Houston is the start of a very long and "hilly" path to the finish, and I always dread it. I had to keep reminding myself that this was not Houston, and I had no reason to fear the last part of the race. I think that helped me work through any "wall" issues that might have briefly flared up.

Miles 20-24 were crucial for me. I knew that to finish in 3:45, I needed to reach mile 21 by 3 hours. I reached it just under. I tried to do some 5.2 mile calculations, but it was useless. My mind was blank by then. But I did manage to figure out that I needed to maintain around a 9 minute pace to qualify. It was then that I knew I would, because I hadn't been running anywhere near 9 minutes all day, and if I could just keep it up for five more miles, five measly miles, I would be golden. I was starting to get excited and realize just what a day I was having.

Then came mile 24... I started to experience cramping in my calves that I have never experienced before. My toes curled, my feet arched, and a couple of steps made me feel like I was going to fall. I had visions of this, seriously. I thought this was how I was going to end my race. Not good. I wasn't sure what to do since I've never cramped like that before. I was taking my Endurolytes and Gu regularly throughout the race, and I was walking and fueling with water and Gatorade at every other water stop. I really thought at this point, qualifying or even finishing with a PR was going to be a serious challenge for me physically. For the first time, it wasn't something mental that was going to make or break a run. I was in some serious pain. I didn't want to stop and stretch, not knowing exactly how much of a time buffer I had, so I thought that lengthening my stride and focusing on really hitting with the heel of my foot and running through to my toes would provide the stretch I needed. It seemed to work and I managed to keep my pace and keep those pacers within my sight. Though the cramping wasn't completely gone, something worked to keep it at bay. Whew...

Chicago did a great thing by identifying the 25.2 mark. It was then that I really knew without any doubt that I would BQ. With one mile left, I had about 13-14 minutes to cover it...I could walk that, but definitely didn't want to. It was the longest mile I've ever run. I chanted to myself "you can do anything for 9 minutes, less than 9 minutes." I had never been so happy to see the 26 mile mark, which seemed like it would never come. We turned a corner, and there was the finish line. I could not believe it.

3:40:30

When I crossed the line and saw 3:43 on the clock (I was 3 minutes behind gun time) and I stopped my watch and saw 3:40, well, I've never felt anything like that before. It was truly an emotional moment. I was crying a little, trying to stretch a little and most of all, I just wanted my phone so I could call family and friends. I was ridiculously sore and exhausted and was determined to keep walking forward or someone would have hauled me to a medical tent. I don't remember much about this time except that everything changed for me once I crossed the finish line. I was no longer someone dreaming about going to Boston, I was definitely going to Boston. Its a feeling I won't soon forget or shake.

The aftermath:
A few days after the marathon, I'm still sore and still elated, and eating just about everything in my sight. It has been wonderful to share this experience and happiness with my friends and family. Boston is the pinnacle of my sport, and I'm going. Wow. When I started running in 2004, I never dreamed this was a remote possibility. I'm now more motivated than ever to go back to my training group and let the runners know that anything is indeed possible! I want to encourage them to work their way through negative thoughts, fears, doubts, to keep running when they are tired, to not give up, to have patience, and to aim high.

Special thanks to my "pit crew" - my family - who were with me in spirit, and to my fabulous friends Aimee and Jennifer for this wonderful surprise when I got home late Sunday night. The bottle of champagne is not in the picture because I was already drinking it...



In other news...

HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY to my precious, and hilarious, nephews!! Auntie Kiki loves you guys so very much!

Lucky #9...

I write this at 4:45 am, because I can't sleep, either because I'm too excited, too tired, or most likely a combination of the two. Is it possible to be so exhausted that you can't sleep? I had a great marathon in Chicago. I could not have asked for better running weather, and I seized the opportunity. I qualified for Boston! 3:40:30 was my unofficial chip time. That is not a typo, though I am still trying to get my head around it myself. I knocked 12 minutes off my PR. Huh?? Who am I? how did this happen? I can't believe it!

Since my eyes sting, my body hurts and I am fuzzy-headed, I will recap the entire marathon in full in my next post, because it was amazing and interesting and full of new experiences. Until then, I will leave you with some random thoughts that went through my mind before and during the marathon:

• Brrr. Its cold. Perfect!
• Crap, this sweatshirt left lint on my running shirt. I wonder if that will show up in the pictures.
• Why are all of these people running before they get to the start line? They will be sorry.
• Mom C and Pop C, I'm running this for you. (My grandmother Mom C is in her last few days. I said goodbye to her on Tuesday. Damn that was hard... And Pop C passed away in May.)
• Is that the Sears Tower?
• That was a pretty decent 5k. I wonder how long I can keep this pace up.
• Those houses remind me of Europe. Oh, one is for sale! I wonder how much it is...
• I went out too fast. Crap, I'm going to catch grief for going out to fast.
• I want to quit. I can just fake an injury. I've been sick all week, my grandmother is dying and my mom is recovering from major surgery. No one will question it.
• Nah.
• Is that the Sears Tower?
• Holy crap, I just PR'd the half marathon. I'm half way done! That wasn't too bad at all.
• The Houston Marathon crowd is much louder.
• I think I can PR, even come close to BQing.
• Feeling good and strong. Keep it up!
• I want to quit.
• Nah.
• Is that the Sears Tower?
• Where the heck are we?
• Wow, I'm on pace for a BQ.
• Do I need to run an 8 or 9 minute mile pace to BQ? Ugh, I can't think!
• I hope I don't have a heart attack.
• My race pics are going to turn out awful.
• C'mon legs, don't fail me now.
• Cramps! No!! Toe-curling calf cramps! Only two miles left! NO!!
• I wonder if someone will carry me the last two miles. If so, will I still qualify?
• Heck, I'll just take a PR. These cramps are about to do me in.
• Heck no, I did not just run my ass off for 24.5 miles to not qualify now.
• I want to quit.
• NO!
• I'm never running another marathon.
• There's the 26 mile marker!!
  
• There's the finish line!!
  
• Holy crap! I qualified for Boston!! Wait, what???
• Where's the beer and bananas?

The taper demons...

You would think that after eight marathons, I would (1) anticipate the taper demons, and (2) shrug them off. But no, once I again, I put myself through the mental anguish of worrying about them. OMG, am I losing my strength and endurance by cutting back my miles? OMG, why is my knee sore? OMG, did I pull my glute muscle without knowing it? OMG, am I getting fat because I'm not running enough? OMG, how am I ever going to finish the marathon??

As marathoners know, it is very difficult to go from alot of miles per week to not so many miles per week, from speedwork to no speedwork, from double-digit mile runs to eight mile runs. Keeping yourself in the game mentally is very difficult during this time. For me, I find that by running less, my time is now spent realizing everything that I have put off for running, things that need to be done. I have to keep reminding myself that I cannot, nor do I want to, do everything right now. I need to rest and get prepared. I know I'm ready and that I'll be ready on race morning, but those damn demons keep sneaking back into my mind!

This week I plan to get in a couple of 4-6 mile easy runs, then I'm off to Chicago on Friday. Yes, I am still nervous. Yes, its still forecast to be cold. Yes, that is great news.

I keep getting asked if I'm going to try to qualify for Boston in Chicago. My goal from here on out is to do just that. There, I said it (knock on wood). I've got three solid sub-4's under my belt, so the next step is Boston or bust. It is going to be very difficult for me to run a 3:45, and next year might be my better shot since I'll be in the 3:50 qualifying time age bracket, but if I wake up on Sunday and feel a good run coming on, I will go for it. Oh hell, who am I kidding, I'm going to go for it regardless. But it hasn't escaped me that going from a 3:52 PR to a 3:45 is not an easy task at all (its not just 7 minutes, its 7 very fast minutes), and honestly, I'm quite intimidated by it. But I've trained well and feel good, so we'll see what happens...

Happy Happy Birthday to my niece, Sorennah, who turned one yesterday!! She is definitely a princess in training!

Nerves of Jello...

I don't know why, but I'm suddenly totally and completely nervous about the Chicago Marathon. There's probably some excitement in there too. I tossed and turned last night. I don't remember being nervous this soon before a marathon. Maybe a couple of days before, but 1.5 weeks? Maybe its because the weather is supposed to be awesome (by awesome, I mean COLD) and I feel well-trained, and I have such high hopes for a really good run. Good grief, I need a Xanax or something...

A letter to my mom...

Dear Mom,

I am heartbroken over what you have been through and are going through. You say you are fine, that you can handle the cards you've been dealt, but how can anyone have that much strength and courage?? How can one person handle what has been thrown your way over the last 13 years, over the past year, over the past two weeks? Its not fair! I am so angry!

You have such a strong faith, but I have none. What God would do this to someone like you? Put you through all of this suffering? Okay, I know it is a blessing that you are even alive, that you have lived to see your son get married, get to know your daughter-in-law, cherish your grandchildren, and love and support your husband who continues to succeed as a wonderful husband, father and leader in his job. And I guess you've gotten to see me run some marathons. That's my biggest accomplishment in 13 years, as marriage is obviously not in my future (read "cougar-dom" is near, meaning I'm freaking old). But I digress...

I cannot express how much I admire you. You have a positive attitude that I will never understand; maybe sometime, with the help of strong medication, I might start to see the light. You find the good in everything, the blessing in the hardship. How do you do it? Wait, I know, you will credit the Lord...but I don't have that same belief and faith.

I know you are going to struggle and have some hard times, but if anyone can persevere and get through this a stronger person, you can.

Did I mention how angry I am?! I think part of me worries that the same thing might happen to me down the road, and I won't have anyone there like you do. Support systems really are the best, huh? I should be so lucky...

I'm stunned you are still alive. That was not even a thought in my head until the surgeon visited with us last week. Damage from radiation is slowly and seriously affecting you now, 13 year later, so forcefully, so dramatically. Why? Well, I never knew that when they attacked your cancer with radiation 13 years ago, they were only really expecting to give you a few extra years, never expecting to deal with the radiation affects and aftermath. Wow, you are here and cancer-free after 13 years! I have taken that for granted. I don't know whether to be so happy that you are still with us, or sad that you are going through and facing what you are now, or a combination of both.

Your grace and strength should be awed and envied and cherished by all who know you. You hold our family together emotionally. It pains me to see you hurt. And while I know you need to go through grieving and "get-used-to-it" process, I am going to grieve for you longer. Not pity you, no, you don't want pity. You are a DIVA! Nothing will change that and you don't deserve anyone's pity, because you don't need it or want it. But I will cry for you, and I will be weak for you, and I will always, always be there for you. I love you Mom...

********************

Alrighty then...

Running update: Saturday's run was 13 miles at an overall average pace of 8:59. I ran a warm-up three miles with fellow Chicago marathoner and hopeful Boston-qualifier Jennifer, then we ran 10 with our training group. The first mile of that run (mile 4 for me) was about a 9:30ish pace; everything after was below 9. Yay! Great taper run.

Chicago weather watch: (Un)Accuweather.com says low in the low 40s, high in the 50s. That would be perfect!! It will of course change 10 times in the next two weeks...

If at first you don't see the chafing...

...a hot shower will certainly let you know where it is...

21 miler: Those of us training for the Chicago Marathon (or one close to that date) ran our 21 miler on Saturday. I must say, I bounced back rather nicely from my 18 miler a couple of weeks ago, as I was hoping I would. I really needed a solid very long run. I wanted to run this as close to how I would run the marathon as far as strategy, mental focus, and hydration/carb intake. Pace-wise, I was not planning to run at my goal marathon pace. That's not what these training runs are for. However, I did want to finish in 3:15. That would put me at roughly a 9:15 per mile average. That would be just fine with me.

We started off at a reasonable pace and kept the first few miles over a 9 minute pace. I really zoned and didn't talk much to the runners around me, mainly because my family received some concerning news about my Mom (see below) on Friday afternoon, and my mind was occupied with that. By the time we hit the first water stop at around 5-6 miles, I didn't want to stop, to lose my momentum, so I walked for about 30 seconds (like I would at a water stop during the marathon) and then our group was on our way to Rice University.

We will still feeling good and strong during our trek around Rice and Hermann Park, and I knew I was having a good, smart run, and just wanted to keep it up. I think something that helped me was taking a caffiene pill half way through the run. That really seemed to give me an extra boost when I knew I would probably start getting tired. It was still pretty humid out even though the temps were cooler, and humidity gets me, and most runners, almost every time. And, I took my Gu and Electolyte tabs at regular intervals, just as I have always done.

When we reached the final water stop, my running buddy Jennifer and I stopped to use the facilities (and I stopped my watch), and upon her suggestion, we decided to try to run the final five miles at an 8:45 pace. I said, let's go for it and see what happens. What happened was our last five miles were well under an 8:45 pace, and our final mile clocked in at 8:08. Holy crap! To feel that strong at the end of such a long run was awesome, a real confidence booster for us both. We ended up finishing in 3:09+, which is a 9:01 average pace.

And strangely enough, I was not sore at all, and still am not for the most part, except a little soreness in my right quad. Believe me, I have seared into my mind what I did right during the run and hope to apply it in Chicago. Now on to tapering!!

A&M Football: What was shaping up to be a blow-out (by A&M standards) got a little too close for comfort in the end, but we managed to pull off the win and are 2-0. For a team that is playing mostly freshman, we look good and should be really good in a couple of years.

We left the game a little early to beat the traffic (plus it was a ridiculously long game and we were all tired), and listened to the final few minutes on the radio. I'm convinced the announcers were drunk. First, one asked the other "He has to get into the end zone for a touchdown, right?" Then, in the stressful final minutes, they went to their sideline reporter. We thought we were going to get an update on strategy or injuries or something, but no...we got a report that at the 15 yard line, there must have been about 1000 crickets on the field. Yes, there was a cricket plague in Bryan/College Station this weekend, and they were EVERYWHERE, but really, when the game is potentially on the line and the Aggies are potentially pissing away a victory, a cricket report is not the most informative sideline update.

Mom update: She has to have more surgery tomorrow (Tuesday) here in Houston. Not cancer but not the best of news either. Its going to be a risky and lifestyle-affecting surgery, and we are all very concerned, and shocked, since it was only on Friday we found out about this. Thoughts, prayers, meditations, chants, whatever is your fancy, are certainly appreciated!

Friday Deep Thought...

Why would a drug company make an acid reflux drug that could have the side effects of constipation and diarrhea and name it "Aciphex," which is pronounced "ass effects" ??

Picture of the day:

Delinquency of a blogger

I know, I know...You are sad that its been a couple of weeks since I posted but super-excited to see that I'm back, so I won't delay the suspense any longer...

September 5 - As I suspected, I bounced back from my disasterous 18-miler with the grace and confidence of a seasoned runner (yes, I'm rolling my own eyes at that statement, so feel free to roll yours too)...I had a solid 11 mile run at just under a 9:00 minute per mile pace, with a negative split. We runners are all really boostered by the slightly cooler temps, though the humidity seems to be sticking (pun intended) around for a while. Knowing that I've had bad runs in the past and how to handle them post-run, I was able to re-focus and put it behind me, and I approached this run just as I have every other run, and it turned out well.

After the run, I drove my sweaty self to Aggieland for the first A&M football game of the season. WOO HOO! We won! Already off to a better start than last year. Though I was a little dismayed to see we didn't even get one vote for the top 25...maybe I'm was expecting too much after one win, but I thought we looked really good. Its nice to watch an A&M game without either (1) sweating it out until the end to see if we are going to win, or (2) knowing that we are going to lose by the 2nd quarter. And a bonus...I stopped by the tailgate of some of my dear old high school friends. Great to see them, and I will see them again soon at my upcoming 20th reunion. You may be thinking "but 26.2 Princess, you already had your 20th reunion." Yes, but remember, I went to two high schools, and the one I graduated from is having its reunion on October 3. Can't wait!

That weekend, I also went with my dad to visit my grandmother, who seemed to light up when she saw me, though I'm still not convinced she really knows who I am. It was nice to see her out of bed and happy though. And it would have been my grandfather's 93rd birthday on the 6th, so we went to the cemetary to wish him a happy birthday. That was emotional and tough. Still hard to believe he is gone...

September 12- After three 5-6 mile morning runs during the week, one of which was a taxing speedwork session (and those are hard to do by yourself, but I did the best I could), we tackled 13 miles on Saturday. Another strong run by many of our runners in the training group. As a coach, I'm so glad to see that the runners have found their stride and routines that work for them. There is a fun but small group of us who have been in the lead pack, and we do a great job of encouraging each other. Sometimes if you are tired and think, I just can't do this, or I'm just going to walk for a while, a pat on the back and a "c'mon, you can do it, let's finish this thing" is all you need to keep you going when you know you can physically, but your mind is telling you otherwise. We finished at a 9:00 minute per mile pace exactly, with a slight negative split.

Speaking of speedwork, last week called for something like 16 minutes fast, 4 minutes recovery, 4 times. Are you kidding me?? That's a killer, and I knew I didn't have a ton of time in the morning to follow that exactly, so I varied it a bit...I ran a 1/2 mile warm-up then did a mile fast (for me, that's between 7:50-8:15) then recovered for a few minutes, then did that again three more times. Felt good. It helps to focus on something else during the fast parts rather than thinking "OMG, I have to run this really fast." Again, this is not something I think I could have done in the heat of the evening. Morning running sure is what works for me, though I get darn tired by the end of the day from waking up at 4:30 am. The things we do...But I'm not going to complain too much, because I don't have kids. I don't know how parents do it without falling asleep alot during the day.

And again, after this run, I hopped in my car to head back to Aggieland. No game this weekend, but my brother, SIL, nephews and niece came in for a visit. It was so wonderful to see all of them! The boys are getting so big (they turn 3 in October), and they slept in regular twin beds for the first time. They were so excited and did well (by "did well" I mean they didn't destroy the room they were in). And my niece, who will be 1 in October, is walking now and is definitely a princess-in-training. Once she gets enough hair, Auntie Kiki (me) will make sure she has a hair bow to match every outfit! And that girl can scream, but she also flashes a smile that will melt any heart.

The best part, the boys are now saying "Gig 'Em" much to my delight and the delight of their parents. Here are some grainy pics from dinner (thanks Nokia for making a phone with no camera flash)...

Hayden's double Gig 'Em


Koen's Gig 'Em


Sorennah playing with her napkin


She'll learn to Gig 'Em later...
*********************************
Up next...the dreaded 21 miler! Is it too soon to start carb loading??

Positively Positive Positiveness.

I have recently posted about a string of positive long runs that I have had. Some people like the positiveness, some people want to barf. Who am I and when did I become so positive? I mean, I believe myself to be a glass-is-half-empty kind of girl. But hey, life is good, right?

So, in the spirit of positiveness and maintaining a positive attitude, I will describe my 18 mile run on Saturday morning with positive statements only...

• I am positive that my 18-miler sucked.
• I am positive that it was my worst run of the year, maybe ever.
• I am positive that the humidity level exceeded 100%.
• I am positive that I drank my weight in fluids during the run, and I thus positively became more sluggish and felt like I gained about 10 pounds (and I still feel that way...sigh...).
• I am positive that drinking so much was stupid.
• I am positive that I walked so much I had to do almost an entire loop around Memorial Park at the end just to get in 18 running miles.
• I am positive that my running skirt stretches down close to my knees when its soaked with sweat.
• I am positive that I am not Amish, so a long running skirt is not a good thing...it just added to my general annoyance with the whole run.
  
• I am positive that I was mentally out of this run 1/3 of the way through, and you know what they say about the power of positive thinking. Heck, I even wrote about it in my previous post. Figures...
  
• I am positive that positive thinking was not what was taking place in my brain at any point.
  
• I am positive that what kept me going was the thought of an ice cold beer at the end.
• I am positive that I did indeed drink that ice cold beer at 9am.
• I am positive that I was also motivated by thoughts of a long nap.
• I am positive that I am competitive and push myself and am hard on myself when I don't have a good run.
• I am positive that I cannot explain what happened to me out there today...it is what it is.
• I am positive that I always have one super craptastic run each year, and I'm hoping this was it.
• I am positive that I will rebound from this disaster and will be stronger because of it.
• I am positive that what I consider a terrible run could be a great run for someone else...keeping it in perspective...

Now, my own positiveness has made me queasy. Or maybe its the fatigue or the random nosebleed I just had.

The moral of the story - no matter how fast or slow you run, no matter how long you have been running or how many marathons you've completed, everyone is going to have a day when they ask themselves "Really? Am I really out here running so I can feel like crap during and after? This is not worth it. I'm done! How can I run a marathon if I can't even make it through 18 miles without thinking three hours of waterboarding would be better than this?"

But... I DID NOT QUIT! That's the most positive thing, and the only truly positive thing, about my 18 mile run. If you have a bad run, whether its a 3 miler or the marathon, pick yourself up and dust yourself off, analyze what went well (if anything) and what didn't, tuck away in your mind what you learned, and then forget about the run and move on.

Lucky 13

Saturday morning's 13 miler was an absolutely fabulous run for me. What a confidence booster. The ever-so-slightly cooler weather really made a big difference. And the advice I received from my favorite strength and conditioning expert to take a caffeine pill or drink black coffee an hour before the run helped tremendously with my energy.

With our usual lead coach sunning in Ixtapa, I was the designated leader to take the group out. We started at a 9:30-ish pace for the first mile, then quickly reached the 9:00 minute range. It was me and four other girls in the lead pack, and I kept checking with them to see how they were feeling. Since everyone was feeling good and strong mile after mile, and we were easily staying together, we decided to crank it up in the second half of the run, and every mile was well under 9:00 minutes, with a couple very close to 8:30. A huge negative split. We pushed ourselves, yes, but it can only pay off for us since we all have high aspirations for our upcoming marathons. My running philosophy has always been if you feel good and healthy and strong, go for it on the long runs when you can, because you aren't going to have great long runs every weekend.

I continue to fuel and hydrate with a mix of Smart Water, bottled water, Clif Quench and Hornet Juice powder. Additionally, I take a Gu every 5-6 miles. And another piece advice I received from the expert I noted above, I took my first Gu about 5 minutes before we started running instead of the 15 minutes prior that the instructions on the Gu packet advise. Everything seemed to work together very well, and I ended up with my strongest run of the season. Whether or not I can keep a steady sub-9:00 pace throughout a marathon always depends on the conditions on race day. I've done it before, but since I have three sub-4 hour marathons under my belt, my only remaining goal in my marathoning career is to qualify for Boston. Boston or bust, baby! And to do so, I really have to up my speed and stay consistent. I'm going to take every opportunity I can to do that in my training.

I met up with fellow coach Mark for a solid 5 mile run on Monday morning, which we conquered at a speedy sub 9:00 pace. As noted, it is now a priority for me to continue to push myself in my runs, especially the shorter runs, and get as close to marathon goal pace as possible while maintaining my health (read injury free, knock on wood). This is probably not the recommended training approach for many, but I'm at the point where I have nothing to lose by going for it, and each time I do, I get stronger physically and mentally. After all, the majority of a run/race takes place between your two ears, and a positive approach and attitude is a must.

I plan to get some speedwork in tonight or in the morning, again probably varying from the training schedule a bit...going to try to get in one to two miles at close to an 8 minute pace. We'll see how that goes...

And my new carb-loading meal is a half order of spaghetti and meatballs from Raia's. I'm a little superstitious, and since I've eaten there the past two Thursdays before a long run, and had solid long runs, I will continue to eat there. Plus, it is just darn yummy.

The running coaches had a great social last week at Sonoma. Its nice to hear how other people are doing this season and what their goals are and what marathons they are running. When asked, I always say Chicago and Houston, but never mention the possibility of Boston because I don't want to jinx myself or set expectations too high. Plus, after I turn 39 next year, I get a 5 minute slower qualifying time, which I think is more achievable. I would only have to shave two minutes off my best time, rather than the seven minutes I would need this year. BUT, that doesn't mean I'm not going to try this year if the race-day conditions are ideal for a fast run. C'mon cold weather in Chicago!!

This coming Saturday is our 18 miler. I'm actually looking forward to it. If anything, I'll burn around 2000 calories, which will allow me more freedom to indulge at Mack and Pattie's party on Saturday night. Can't wait!

E-I-E-I-O

When I run, if I'm not listening to my iPod, then I usually have a song playing in my head over and over during the run. Most of the time I can "control" said song by making sure it is the last thing I hear before beginning my run. This past Saturday, for some reason, I had the freaking Old McDonald Had A Farm song stuck in my head for 13 miles! Unspeakable awesomeness, she said sarcastically *.

Saturday, August 8: I had a really strong 15 mile run. I could not have been happier - I felt really good the entire way - and I probably could have kept going for a couple more miles. I credit adhering to the training schedule during the week (even the speedwork), as hard as it is to run/workout at 5 am.

I'm still drinking diluted Clif Quench and using some Hornet Juice. A fellow coach, and a very fast runner, told me about Hornet Juice, so I thought I'd give it a try. So far, no complaints.

Training is the time for trying new things that may work for others, and if they work for you too, great. If not, don't do it. I have learned alot about running, nutrition, hydration, and race strategy just by listening to, or eavesdropping on, others. Stories about a personal experiences that I hear with my own ears have benefitted me far more than any running article I've ever read.

Saturday, August 15: A relatively easy 10 miles that was over before I knew it. Probably because we had to focus intently on the numerous turns on the route so as not to get lost. This coming weekend's 13 miler has no less than 30 turns. I got dizzy just reading the written route, and haven't really studied the map yet. As I shared with another coach this morning, I would not be surprised if every single runner gets lost somewhere along the way. Should be interesting...

* Sarcasm. Let's discuss this for a moment. For me, there are two types: (1) rude and insulting sarcasm, and (2) teasing and joking sarcasm. Sometimes there is a very thin line between the two. And if you don't know how to hold a normal conversation that is free of either type of sarcasm, then you have a communication problem. Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of the second type noted above, but I use it in moderation. When you can't control it, or when people no longer realize you are joking and/or think its funny, or they get frustrated because it seems non-stop, don't be surprised if that person becomes bored with conversing with you. Just an observation...

As for relatively sarcasm-free conversation, I'd like to say hi and thanks to a new friend, whom I met through dear friends, for enjoyable conversation, lots of laughs and tasty, refreshing beer. Go Texans!

I did it all for the gnocchi...

Running update: I had an excellent 12 mile run on Saturday morning. Must have been the mini-carb load on Thursday night with my wonderful friends Aimee and Jennifer. We went to Raia's...awesome Italian food. The gnocchi is to die for. That's why I run, so I can eat stuff like gnocchi...

What made my run so good on Saturday? I have no real answer to that. Same weather conditions that we've had over the past couple of months, though there may have been a slight breeze. However, this is the first time this season that I used Gu, and I also had a water bottle of Clif Quench and Smart Water, both of which a few of my running friends swear by. We'll see. Maybe I just had a good run period. I needed it since my last two long runs left me feeling not so good physically and mentally. I felt great after the run on Saturday, probably could have kept going another couple of miles. That's very encouraging for me.

I continue to do my speedwork on my own in the mornings. I just can't bring myself to run in the evenings when the heat index exceeds 100 degrees. I'm not the only one either. Its great to see Memorial Park as crowded as it is by 5:30 am. Lots is always going on early in the morning, like those boot camps. Based on what I've seen of their routines, I will not be doing a boot camp. I'm not sure I would be able to maintain the minimum level of princessness that is acceptable to me...

PMS rant: Yes, my dear readers, its been a while since I had one of these, so here it goes. I really hate it when my supposed best friends do not respond to communications and I hear about events in their lives through others. Unfortunately this has been a pattern for the past few years. Guess what? I'm done. Also dear old friend from my youth, don't be rude to me at our recent HS reunion then wonder why I didn't accept your Facebook friend request. Speaking of FB, wow some girls post whore-ish pictures...none of my friends, duh, because I don't hang out with skanks, but friends of acquaintances. Pathetic. And, FB is a fabulous way to see what your friends did not invite you to. That makes the invitation list to an upcoming get-together at my house much more manageable. Thanks! Okay, rant over. I meant about half of what I just said. Which half will be determined when I feel like it.


And, a big CONGRATULATIONS to my friends Karla and Jeremiah who are expecting their first child. Yay!!

Same ol' same ol'...

Dear mother nature, please give us a freaking break down here in Houston!!!

Running update: I swear, if its possible to have more than 100% humidity, it happened Saturday morning. What a tough 10 miler I had, and I wasn't the only one. My actual running time and pace were not bad and have been pretty consistent over the last several long runs, but I'm very aware of how I feel during and after these runs, and the last two weekends have not been great in that department. But, I am running smart in this weather, and trying to encourage others to do so as well, and I know that once it cools off, I can tackle any distance or course with more ease. I'm just waiting patiently for that break, which will probably come after I run Chicago in October...

I will now run no less than 10 miles on Saturday mornings from here on out. Hard to believe Chicago is a little over two months away. I know I'll be ready, but its hard to imagine that right now. I've never run such an early Fall marathon, so I'm concerned about getting in enough good long runs, but I believe in the Houston Fit program and that it will have me ready. Hasn't let me down yet!

I'd like to rewind this morning and just stay in bed: Got in a decent 4+ mile run this morning (still loving the morning runs during the week) but then my morning went downhill from there... I got into a minor fender-bender on the way to work. Fabulous. Stupid jacked-up pickup trucks... If it had been a normal pickup, I would have sustained zero damage. Grrr. First "accident" in over 15 years. Not too bad. Anyway, I'm looking forward to the Bachelorette finale tonight, with wine, pizza and friends! In fact, I'd like a glass of wine right now...

Yellow Fever social: Saturday evening some of the Yellow Fever from Houston Fit got together for the season's first social. I had a great time, and it was fun to visit with old friends and meet new people. And thanks to Pattie for just being a very special friend...

Okay, that's all for now. Time to get an estimate on my car. I knew I shouldn't have gone to the Galleria and stimulated the economy yesterday!!

It is what it is...

Running update: I have been pretty good about getting runs in in the mornings. Its very early, so I can still get to work before 8, but I've enjoyed the time to zone out, wake up and have some energy for the day. As much as I don't want to get out of bed when my alarm goes off, I'm always glad that I do. And I'm starting to feel the benefits of getting more runs in during the week - strength, stamina, endurance. I admit that in past seasons I way too often flaked when it came to running after work, hot or cold weather, because I was always so exhausted or wanted to do something else with that time.

Saturday a.m. - very challenging 10 mile route that involved many big hills (hills in Houston = overpasses). Call me crazy but I loved the route and had a really good run. I took it slower in the beginning and finished very strong. Just the way it should be. Not too concerned about pace right now, but I think I ran a 9:10-13ish average pace, which I consider excellent in this wonderful (by wonderful, I mean sucky) weather we've been having. If I can keep having smart and strong runs during this weather, I should be in great shape once its cooler.

Monday a.m. - 3 mile run

Tuesday a.m. - ran for 35 minutes, probably just under 4 miles. Saw Alaina out that morning too.

Today a.m. - 4.6 mile run in about 42 minutes. I felt great today. It was also nice to see Jamoosh out there and run with him for a while. He was sharing with me the benefits of the five-finger running "shoes." Very interesting. He loves them and says he can tell a real diffence in his gait, and they are great on soft running surface like dirt or asphalt...concrete, not so much. I had a bunch of questions about them, and they have received alot of good press lately. Might be interesting to try at some point, but I'm in no hurry. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, right? For Jamoosh, I think they have really helped him resolve some of his running-related injuries, but for me, I need the cushioning of a shoe because of my neck/spine issues. In case you are wondering, I've been running in Asics Gel Nimbus for years and love them. I just wish the wide women's shoe came in pink...

I've slacked off a little on my P90X workouts thanks to yet another episode with my neck last week that basically limited my workouts to running and nothing involving the upper body until my immobilizing muscle spasms stopped. I'm going to continue to try to get a couple of the workouts in a week but not really follow the plan religiously. I'm most interested in core, plyometrics, yoga and stretching. I'm not terribly excited about the weight workouts. I know they always say women won't bulk up, but I can't help feeling that way. I'm fairly muscular already as it is.

Ladies Night - Houston Fit and Luke's Locker hosted a Ladies Night event last night. It was a great opportunity for women, especially some new to running or marathoning, to get together and have discussions about clothing, shoes, hydration, etc. Plus, we all got 20% off of merchandise, so I of course had to buy another black running skirt, which is now as much of a running attire staple as my pink visor. I just love the running skirts, and the black ones have a visual slimming effect, which is always a bonus. Now that I have about 6 of these, I don't think I'll ever go back to running in shorts. The skirts are so comfortable and cute.

And, a shout out to my running friend Karen, who was at the event last night. In fact, I think she coordinated it. Anyway, we spent alot of time talking and I really enjoyed our conversation and getting to know her better. I found out she reads my blog, so I just want to say Hi!

Nonsense: I was going to post some things about Facebook friends and "unfriending" and why I'm whittling down my list of friends to something more manageable and private, but what's the point...people are offended no matter what the reason...I guess once you are friends on Facebook and then are no longer friends on Facebook, you are no longer friends period. Sigh. Not my intent, in most cases, but it all feels very high school-ish to me. It is what it is. But I'm very glad to be a part of that social networking site because its been so great to catch up with people and stay in better touch with my good friends and my running community. Its a great tool, but it does cause anxiety when personal decisions must be made about privacy concerns and who you really want reading your information and updates. The co-worker decisions were especially difficult. Sorry. Anyway...

Happy Running!

Running just as fast as I can...

First order of business: HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!

Second order of business: All female runners/triathletes, and males with female runner/triathlete friends and significant others MUST check out my friend Pattie's jewelry. I purchased some pieces from her recently and they are fabulous! She does custom requests too and is so easy and pleasant to work with.

Apparently, I'm kinda a fast runner: I ran the Run Wild 5k on Saturday, thanks to my fellow coach Dave, who wanted someone to push him during the race. Well, that was a joke because he took off and there was no catching him! But I did my best to run as fast as I could in the heat and humidity, hoping to run in under 25 minutes. I ran 24:41, which is a 7:58 pace. I was very pleased, and very exhausted. This was an official 5k race PR for me, though I did run the first leg of a duathlon about 10 seconds faster. It was also about 40 degrees colder during that race, but I digress...

So, Dave and I were hanging out after we finished, watching other runners and refueling (Michelob Ultra at 8:30 am on a steamy morning after a race is delicious!). Once I felt like I might be able to stomach some food, we walked over to the restaurant that was serving breakfast tacos. I happened to notice that race results were posted on the window, so I checked out my official time. I found my age group and by habit looked at the middle of the list first, since this is where I usually am. I did not see my name and my first thought was that my time was not recorded. Then I happened to look at the top of the list...there I was, the third-place finisher for my age group. Holy crap! I never thought I'd place in a running event, ever! I yelled to Dave "I finished 3rd!!" and he said I get an award for that. No way!! Hardware!! You know I love hardware, and when it is for placing, that's even sweeter. I was so freakin' excited! And thanks to Dave for being just as excited for me and for treating me to a celebratory breakfast. And thanks to my running friends who offered their congrats on Facebook. I really appreciated that!

In other running news: I've really become focused on sticking to my training schedule during the week. I have been getting in a few miles in the mornings and am already feeling stronger. Plus, I've lost the 5 pounds I somehow gained and was very pissed about, so I'm happy. I'm also going to incorporate a modified version of P90X into my workout routine, primarily to get the core, stretching, plyometrics (jumping), yoga, kenpo (kick-boxing-ish workout) and light weight training elements. No way am I doing the full program as I have no intention or desire to become "ripped," but I'll keep you posted on how this progresses. I think I'm going to enjoy the challenge of getting in two workouts a day a few times a week. After all, I do have high school reunion #2 coming up in October...

High School Reunion #1 Recap

First, a running update: 8 miles with the Fall group on Saturday...not too bad of a run...9:07 average pace, I think, with a couple of sub-9s in the middle. Not that I'm concerned about pace at this early point in the training, but I do like to know, and so far, I've been very consistent over the past several runs.

On Saturday we ran a great route down Allen Parkway to downtown, back up Memorial, with a quick jaunt through River Oaks. I got a little lost at the end when my brain wasn't functioning and I missed a turn (no thanks to one of my fellow runners who insisted we weren't supposed to turn, then looked at his directions and said "oops, we should have turned.") But as a coach, I should have known the entire route, and I did...I just wasn't counting on the heat and humidity to make me a little loopy at the end of an easy 8 mile run. I corrected the mistake with a little route modification, and we ended up getting in the appropriate mileage. It was a terribly hot and humid morning, and though we pushed the start time up to 6 am, I still think we need to start earlier. Once that sun comes out, its brutal. However, I was very pleased to see that our runners stopped and walked when needed and hydrated often. AND, I actually did the core workout post-run... sore abs = something got worked!

Since I didn't get a post written last week, on June 13 we had a great 6 mile run, followed by a farewell dinner that night for fellow Yellow fever runner and coach Ruthie...She will be greatly missed in our running community, as a motivator, trainer and friend...

Now if I can just get motivated to run more than once during the week...We seriously need a break from this heat/humidity. And I need to get to bed earlier so I can get up and run in the mornings and still make it to work early. Easy to say, not so easy to do...

Happy Father's Day guys. I was thrilled that I was able to surprise my Dad yesterday with a quick trip to Bryan for church and brunch. It was great!

High School Reunion Part 1: Saturday night was my 20 year high school reunion. I say "part 1" because I went to two high schools and have two reunions this year. The reunion Saturday night was for the high school I went to as a freshman and sophomore before my family moved to Aggieland, and I had grown up with these people, through pre-school, elementary school and junior high as well as my first two years of HS.

I have to say, I was a bit nervous about the reunion. I hadn't seen most of my classmates since my sophomore year, but I have reconnected with alot of them on Facebook over the past year. The event was pretty much what I expected, but many of my old friends who I was looking forward to seeing were not in attendance. But it was great to see my Facebook friends again, in person. I really enjoyed that.

For the most part, the group as a whole looked fantastic for a bunch of adults knocking on the door of their 40s. There were a couple of weight-related surprises and a couple of "dang, he's hot!" thoughts, but other than that, the snobs were still snobs and the sweet people were still sweet. Many, like myself, through maturity and plain ol' life experiences, are more confident and outgoing than we were in high school, and it was so much fun to hang out again. Others haven't matured at all from what I could tell, and quite possibly have regressed. But who am I to judge...you never know what is going on or has gone on in someone's life.

All in all, it was a good evening with few surprises, alot of laughs and some closure of the past. It is quite possible that I will never see many of those classmates ever again, and for the most part that doesn't bother me. I'm in touch with who I want to be in touch with, keeping up with who I want to keep up with. 20 years is a long, long time...so much changes, and so much stays the same. I personally ended the evening feeling good about who I am, who my friends are and what I have accomplished since high school. I did not long for anything that was in the past, any relationship or friendship. I'm happy right where I am now.

Happy Blogging Anniversary to Me!

I've been blogging for almost a year now. Ha! And some of you have been with me from the start. Suckers! :)

Running update: I ran before work again this morning. 4.7 miles. I really do enjoy this whole running-in-the-morning routine. Gets me going, and makes me get to bed at a decent time, too. This morning, I tried to do sort of a tempo run. Tempo runs are not easy, though one would think they would be compared to other training techniques. I just get into such a groove when I run, and am good at keeping a consistent pace. To notch that up a bit in the middle is difficult for me, but I'm trying.

I have a feeling I'll get in more runs during the week now that I'm doing most of them in the mornings. If there is one bad thing about my training over the years its that I easily flake out on my weekday runs because at the end of the day I'm too tired, or its too hot, or I have to work late, or I want to do something else, or all of the above. Running in the mornings doesn't allow me to make these excuses anymore.

Weekend in Bryan: Yes, I was back in Bryan this weekend. Still cleaning out my grandparents' house. We are making progress, but its hard to tell sometimes. We went to see my grandmother (MomC) and I'm pretty sure that she recognized me this time. That made me happy.

I took Friday off of work to get there a day early, and I'm glad I did. My mom cooked her awesome steak fingers for dinner on Friday...I haven't had a true home-cooked meal in forever! It was delicious. That meal has got to be one of my all-time favorites, right up there with her teflon pancakes (the syrup beads up and rolls off the pancake, no lie!) and breakfast cookie (the coffee cake that was missing the ingredient that makes it fluffy) Those two items have very special places in my family's hearts! Poor Mom, we'll never let her forget!

And something new for me...I went "mall-walking" with my parents on Saturday morning. I walked maybe 30 steps before it happened...I spotted an open store. Good thing I thought to slip my credit card in my pocket because, yes, I managed to keep alive my streak of buying something every time I set foot in a mall or shopping center. Pink and white Air Jordan walking sandal/flip-flop things. They are quite cushion-y and fashionable. I've never purchased Air Jordan shoes before. I'm not entirely sure Michael Jordan had in mind pink shoes when he teamed up with Nike for this deal many years ago. So my "mall-walking" adventure was really just another opportunity to shop. Who knew?

And, we saw Star Trek. Loved it! I've been a Star Trek fan my whole life (I know! I'm a bit nerdy! Gasp!), thanks to my dad, and this movie was a great prequel of sorts. Its fun to see how your favorite characters from something came to be. I enjoyed that about Star Wars I, II, and III, too, though those movies were not that great. I realize that is blasphemous in some circles. Sorry. Then, we watched The Longest Day, which I have never seen, and I capped off a long Saturday by watching the mighty Red Wings thump the Penguins. I love hockey. I just don't understand why the general American public has not taken to this sport. What's not to love??

The Bachelorette better get rid of the foot-fetish guy tonight. I just threw up a little in my mouth thinking about it.

I can see clearly now...

I have to say, this has been a great week. Let me tell you why, because I know you are dying to find out (and some of this could surprise you, who knows, who cares)...

But first, a quick running update: For the first time ever, I ran before work this morning. 5.5 miles in about 50 minutes or so. It felt great. I was a little concerned about hitting Memorial Park while it was still dark, but when I got there a little before 5:30, there were already quite a few runners out there, so I felt safer. I am going to try to make weekday morning runs more routine, because it sure beats running in the evening heat, after a long and tiring day at work. And, I'm quite energized. I actually felt human long before 9 a.m. for a change.

So...I've had an epiphany, seriously, a real sudden face-slapping epiphany, which is bringing about some much-needed changes in my life, my behaviors, my attitudes and my perspective.

For too long (way too long), I have let a lack of self-confidence teamed with seemingly endless stress (most of which I now realize I bring on myself) drive my emotions and my actions, and more often than not, I end up feeling just plain dumb, embarrassed, apologetic. I have sometimes behaved in ways that are unbecoming and immature, and I'm tired of not even recognizing myself through my actions half the time. Hey, I understand that we all have issues and faults and regrets - its human nature. But the difference for me, this time, is that instead of laughing things off only to turn around and do the same things over and over, act the same way over and over, have the same regrets over and over, well, I'm doing something about it. Finally.

I'm done with emotionally and physically unhealthy actions and attitudes. I'm done with trying to be the funny/sarcastic one, the life of the party, the one everyone likes and wants to be around. Truth is, I'm not! I might be a princess, but I'm also a serious Type A introvert. My extreme extroversion in certain circumstances, well, its a facade. It does not come naturally to me at all in most cases, unless I'm very comfortable with a sitiuation, person or group. I would rather sit around and drink water and have conversations and get to know people than be in the middle of the group that is drinking it up and being the loudest, which is usually where I've ended up because I thought that's where I needed to be, where I was expected to be. And looking back, its just plain unattractive.

I'm tired of reaching out to people or trying to develop/keep a friendship going when really there is no friendship, no reciprocation. I want people in my life who care about me, really care, through good times and bad, and people who allow me to care about them and appreciate it. I have a wonderful circle of very close friends, a fabulous family, and a cherished 'running family'. Its time that that is good enough. I don't have to be everyone's friend, and not everyone has to like me or care about me. My lifelong drive for acceptance has just plain exhausted me. Screw it.

I'm done being foolish and making bad decisions. Sad thing is, I'm well aware of exactly what I've been doing, because I've been doing it most of my teen and adult life...not giving myself enough credit, letting how others feel and think about me define who I am, basing my worth as a person, a woman, on how successful I am at work, in relationships, and in my hobbies.

And you know the #1 thing that has caused most of what I've mentioned above? Not appropriately moderating my alcohol consumption. There it is, plain and simple...its the common denominator, the one thing I can trace back to every stupid thing I've done, said, every meltdown, every self-defeating action and thought. It has been my shield, my barrier, too often, from my shyness and insecurities and worries and fears. And I'm done. Plus, it makes you fat.

So, my breaths have been deeper this week, my attitude happier, my focus sharper, my mind more peaceful. Honestly. Its amazing how things, perspectives, how you look at yourself and how you feel about yourself can change so suddenly. But its great! I have a renewed dedication to my health, my exercising and my running, in a way I've never had before. And I am confident that I will be able to handle life's stresses and bumps in the road, relationships, friendships, work and running with a maturity and clarity that I don't think I've had before.

Alrighty then.

Welcome, Hurricane Season!

I'll go ahead and say it now... Run for your lives! We're all going to die! I have a bad feeling that we are in for another one this year. Then again, I thought it might rain yesterday, and it didn't.

Running update: Six miles with the Fall group on Saturday (and I got in an extra couple of miles running to and from my house). The crowd seemed a bit smaller. Maybe it was the heat and humidity. I have news for you...its only going to get worse. I personally had a good run and kept a steady pace between 9:05-9:15. My color group (yellow) is supposed to run a 9:00-10:00 minute mile, so I'm on target for the faster part of our group, but I'm not in the lead pack. I think our lead pack is going out too fast, and did last week too. Its going to end up discouraging runners when the heat and humidity really show up. Now is the time to take it slow, get the distance in and not focus on speed too much...we'll all get faster through the course of the training season. If I'm keeping the pace that I noted above and can't even see the lead group in front of me, they are going too fast for our color group. Runners have even commented on this, and are confused about the pacing, so I just tell them to run with me...a fast but not overwhelming pace that is challenging but not ridiculous. Not that I want to lead the entire group...I'm fine with trying to maintain my current pace and meet some of the runners around me, and I think our pace is appropriate. If you want to run faster, go to the faster color group (green). It just frustrates me that we, as coaches, preach one thing and do another. Maybe we should have an in-between pace group, lime color maybe?

And the jury is still out on the Saturday running start times...runs begin around 6:40 a.m. now, regardless of distance. That means alot of running in the sun. I personally prefer earlier start times (like when its still dark), but I'm not in charge. I just need to remember my sun block. I already have a nice runner's tan. Its real sexy.

Hill work begins this week. I'm looking forward to it, because these workouts are great for building strength, speed and stamina, and burn alot of calories, especially in the evening heat. I'm going to do my best to get to all of the hill and speed workouts this season, because they really do help as long as you approach them appropriately to keep yourself injury-free. I'm sure the first couple of hill workouts will go like this - several runners will race up the hills and race back down them, or they will come to a dead stop at the top of the hill before the downhill portion. Wrong approaches. I will never forget my friend Jamoosh advising me in one of my very first hill workouts to maintain my pace up the hill but take smaller/quicker steps, get my knees up and pump my arms. I hear that advice in my head every time I encounter a hill. And running down a hill shouldn't be a free-for-all. Don't lean back, don't go too fast, maintain control while letting gravity help.

Clif notes - keep your pace while running up and down hills but adjust your running form appropriately.

Random thoughts:

Our generation's "let's do lunch" is "let's get a drink." Said with the best intentions but you know it won't happen any time soon unless you nail down a date and time right then and there. Just something I've observed the past few years and think is funny...

Also, as the old saying goes, "you are the company you keep" or "the company we keep defines who we are." Sad but true, people will judge you based on the type of people you hang out with. What does it mean if I hang out with my cat alot?

Run Wild Jewelry

Check it out! Beautiful handmade jewelry by my friend Pattie, for the runner/triathlete. Can you guess which item I'm going to be buying??

Gasp!

Has it really been almost a month since I posted? I know my one reader has missed me dearly. Thought I'd get in a post before enjoying this gorgeous Memorial Day...

Running update: Fall marathon training is in full swing, and it is hot and humid out there (duh, its summer in Houston), but we have a pretty good group of runners every Saturday morning. I've been getting in a couple of extra miles by running from my house to the meeting location and back. I'm trying to get back to a regular running/exercise routine during the week, but its been difficult. Work has been demanding and I'm usually so exhausted in the evenings and would rather kick back and have a drink than run. That'll change...high school reunions are coming up, and I don't know about you, but alcohol goes straight to my waist. No bueno.

Family update: We are all still pretty sad about my grandfather's passing and that my grandmother is now in a "home." She requires 24/7 care, so this is definitely the best place for her to be...the family is at peace with this decision. I've gone to visit her a couple of times when I've been back to my parents' to help them clean out my grandparents' house. My grandmother really doesn't know who I am, who any of us are, but she knows were are family, I think. Its hard not to completely detach myself from her because that's not my grandmother, not the same person who I loved to spend so much time with, have such great memories of. We had a special bond, and that's what I choose to remember, not how she is now. But I love her the same nevertheless.

Going through my grandparents' house and their belongings has been a great experience for all of us. We have found so many pictures and other momentos that we had never seen before...such a great record of family history. I have volunteered to get the pics etc in some sort of order, a project that is going to take me months. And apparently my grandfather kept every single bank statement he ever received. We have been finding those things everywhere! This hoarding of sorts is quite typical of the Great Depression generation, I believe. It has inspired me to become better organized so that if anything should happen to me, my family will know exactly where to look for the important stuff. Plus, I've never been one to keep stuff "just in case." I do not like clutter, at all.

Pictures:
Some great pics from my birthday -

The girls...


Fellow birthday celebrant Brian and his wife Leah...


Me and my dear friends Aimee and Tyler...


Cake from work...they know I'm a princess...


And from Mother's Day weekend -

Grammie and Sorennah...


Grammie and Pops with Koen and Hayden...


Hayden and Koen (could they be any cuter??? Answer: no.)...


Me and mini-princess Sorennah...