Did these guys really think they'd get away with this hoax?? C'mon, trying to pass off a gorilla suit as Bigfoot's corpse? Amazing the crap that comes out of the backwoods of any state, especially our beloved southern states.
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Speaking of corpses, Mom and Dad, when I die, please prop me up in the corner for my viewing.
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Before I die, maybe I can make it to the Olympics afterall. According to this site, since I'm a Taurus, I'd be good at bull jumping, known as the pole vault now I guess, gymnastics, rythmic gymnastics, ice hockey, and the butterfly stroke in swimming. Let's break down my chances:
Pole vault - Um, relying on a stick to catapult me through the air over a bar? No thanks. Too afraid of heights and impaling self with said pole vault apparatus.
Gymnastics - First of all, I'm about a foot too tall. Second, see above mention about fear of heights and Google "gymnastics disasters".
Rythmic gymnastics - Have you seen these gymnasts? They contort themselves into pretzel shapes while hula-hooping, juggling and twirling around long ribbons. I'd apparently need to be anorexic for this, as well as be double-jointed everywhere. HOWEVER, I am pretty sure I could do a better routine than these two tools.
Ice hockey - Oh lord. Really? Female ice hockey players can beat the crap out of anyone. The only physical fights I've ever been in were with my brother (back before he hit puberty and started lifting weights, after which he could suddenly fight back). I prefer to keep my face as is, and all of my teeth. Plus, I might break a nail.
Butterfly (swimming) - If you caught the lovely segment NBC did on Michael Phelps' freakishly weird body proportions, which obviously make him the best swimmer ever, you'll understand that nobody else ever is going to be as good as swimmer as him, especially in the butterfly. Plus, I think I would need a severe underbite. That seems to help him as well.
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Finally, for those who missed it, the Idiot of the Year goes to the doofus who thought it would be a good idea to "kite-surf" during a hurricane.
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Running update: Oh, was I supposed to be running this week? Oops. Maybe tonight. I did get in an hour on the elliptical last night though.
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