My bipolar knee.

I ran 21 miles on Saturday. 21 pain-free miles. At least as pain-free as 21 miles can be. And at my normal training pace. The Monday before that, I went for a 5 mile run, which was pain-free, but I thought it might be a fluke. I mean, a week ago, I had non-stop pain during my 10 miler, and suddenly my knee stops hurting altogether? I was thrilled and relieved at how well the run on Saturday went. Then I couldn't even make it through 3 miles yesterday. What is going on?? My knee is moody, it is happy then angry then happy again, without any advance warning. According to Google, "bipolar" involves periods of excitability (mania) alternating with periods of depression. The "mood swings" between mania and depression can be very abrupt. Yep, that's my knee. My bipolar knee.

So, I'm trying to keep my knee in the happy state. I kid you not when I say I am going to all extremes...aromatherapy, chakra bells playing while I sleep (thanks iPhone! and no, I have no idea what chakra really is), tendon gel, a magnet knee brace, Tiger Balm which keeps me smelling like menthol, yoga stretches...basically, I'm trying anything right now. Just get me through Boston. Please, knee gods, I beg you. So glad I'm in the taper mode now, and I'll just keep on relaxing and icing and doing chants or whatever for the next three weeks.

Non-running fun: I have tackled two major cleaning projects at my house recently...my garage and my attic. If my garage wasn't so hot and prone to visitors of the roach kind, I'd spend more time in there, it is that nice and organized now. And I finally cleared enough space in my attic to store some stuff up there. But the best part is, when I was going through some boxes, I found my diary from 1983-1984. So during my taper period while not much is going on with my running, I will post some entries. Keep in mind I was in the 7th grade or something...

Tuesday, 12-27-83
Today we went shopping. I got a pair of blue slacks. We had soccer practice today which was stupid. Its freezing here! On All My Children, Greg and Jenny ran off and then came back to get married. On General Hospital, Luke and Laura left for the mountains. GH won't be the same without them! I ♥ Chris!!!!!!!!!!!!

Arthritis Cream Drama...

Hola! Yes, I've been gone from the blogging world for a while. Didn't have much to report nor did I have the energy to write. But, yes, I'm back and I'll just jump right back into it...

Mom update: Mom has been dealing with more health issues and was finally released from her latest stay at MD Anderson a couple of weeks ago to a nursing home in Bryan where she will be for a couple more weeks. The problem continues to be an ongoing infection that is not going away, even with a drain. And surgery to scoop out the area is not an option. Its been a very very trying and tiring time for my whole family, and to say that my personal life has suffered would be an understatement. I'm a person who deals with drama by withdrawing and handling things on my own. This is my personality; I've always been this way. I don't want to burden anyone else. Its how I roll in tough times and this has been difficult to communicate and help other people understand. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be alone instead of sharing my issues with others. I'm not making any excuses or apologies. Some people like and need the company and comfort of others, especially during hard times, others don't. Doesn't mean that I'm lonely or alone, as some people are concerned. I'm okay and gosh darnit, I like myself! :)

Running update: I'm still getting my long runs in, even if at a very slow pace for me. I don't care anymore. My knee (ITBS and bursitis) continues to be a problem, some runs are better than others. Today's 13 miler, which turned into a 10 miler, was not one of my better days. In the past few weeks, I've run an 18 miler, a half marathon, and a couple other 10-12 mile runs. Next week, I will attempt another 18-21 miler, then I taper until Boston. I continue to do physical therapy on my own, but this is clearly an injury that is going to require some plain old rest. Although right now I would not turn down a surgical procedure just to get that damn bursa thing out. On April 20th of course.

Arthritis Cream: So, as I was researching things to at least somewhat numb my knee area for my runs, I thought I'd try some arthritis cream, even though I don't have that in my knee, but apparently it works wonders for pain. Yippee! So I put a little on my knee last night. A couple of hours later, the area really started to warm up and felt pretty good. So if a little feels good, alot should feel better, right? Before, bed, I put some more on my knee, my other knee, and my lower back. Why not? It had been aching lately too.

By 1:30 am, I was wide awake and felt like my knees and back were on fire. Really, I'm shocked I wasn't actually on fire. It felt like I was burning alive, or at least got my pasty self burned really badly at the beach. It looked like a terrible sunburn, all red and blotchy, and I envisioned giant blisters and scars, but my skin wasn't warm to the touch. Nevertheless, the thought of going to the ER crossed my mind at least once. I thought maybe I was having an allergic reaction. I washed off the areas with a cold wash cloth...didn't work. Got in a cold shower...didn't work. Mixed baking soda with cold water to make a compress...worked some, since I remembered that baking soda is a neutralizer for things. I didn't know what I was doing...ice, baking soda, wet towels, anything to cool the areas off. Something worked because I fell back to sleep and when I woke up, I was fine. Apparently, arthritis cream has cayenne pepper in it. Aha!! And a little further research revealed that yes, a burning "sensation" is normal so use the cream sparingly. Well, my sensation was a "burning alive" sensation, so I think I used too much. Lesson learned. Be warned!

Woe is knee...

Happy post Super Bowl Monday. Yea Saints. I'm sorta surprised there wasn't some sort of celebratory rioting in New Orleans, or at least a couple of car fires, although I'm sure the mass partying will continue right through Mardi Gras.

Running update: My knee is still driving me nuts. The pain is most intense after I run, so I can at least get in a run before things start really going south. I've now been on four or so medications, am going to massage therapy once a week (IT band focus), use my foam roller all of the time and got one of those stick things too, all to no avail. So, I'm heading to a new doctor next week. Just get me through April...

The past couple of Saturday's, I have had some decent runs with the Knuckleheads. By "decent runs" I mean one was really good, one not so much, so they average out to "decent." Two weeks ago I ran a comfortably fast 8 miles, mostly with Ms. Ironwoman Cassie, and it was alot of fun, though very cold. She, however, kicked it into gear at the end and left me behind in her dust. At that point I was running around an 8:45 pace, so way to go Cassie!! I was also very happy to see Jamoosh out there again!

This past Saturday was a 10 miler for me. I started the run mostly concerned about my knee, but I was not prepared for the calf cramps that plagued me. Alot of stopping to stretch, but I finished the run and that was a victory for me. There was no running with Cassie, or Jamoosh, or anyone...I couldn't even keep up. Thanks to a fellow runner Roger who kept me in his sights because he believes no female should run alone. He was great and supportive and motivating, even as I whined and moaned about cramps and my knee, and I am very thankful and appreciative that he adjusted his pace and stopped every now and then to make sure I wasn't collapsed in pain in the road, or kidnapped. I hope to pay that forward soon. Until then, its time for some bananas.

Motivation, shmotivation. So how does one actually get motivated and enjoy a run if the fear of pain invades your mind before you even start? I used to never give running a second thought...it was something I did, something that was fun, and something that relaxed me. Now when I get ready to run, I feel like I'm already behind the eight ball because I'm worried about what my knee is going to do at any given point. Its frustrating, but I don't see any alternative until April 20. The cramping I can deal with...potassium, bananas, enduroytes, someone even mentioned tonic...but the knee really has me skittish right now because it has been going on and on and on...

BUT, I'm going to do what I can to keep in running shape and try not to get to frustrated. I know that soon I will be able to rest my knee and come back stronger and wiser. Its no longer about time for me, its about finishing, whether it be a 3 miler or Boston, I am finally understanding the satisfaction in and victory of just finishing. How's that for some Monday morning positiveness??

And the training begins...kinda...

Happy Friday! As I type, I am watching the temperature drop, drop, drop here in Houston. Winter is not over yet! Yay! I love me some fires in the fireplace, and that doesn't make much sense if its in the 70s. And I still have some cute cold-weather running attire to put to use.

Following my inexplicable PR in the half a couple of weeks ago, I've been really excited to get my training for Boston underway. So far, that includes one 6 mile recovery run last Saturday morning with the Knuckleheads, but I'm planning an 8 mile run tomorrow morning. But 26.2 princess, you ask, why only one run in two weeks? Long story short, my mom is back in the hospital here in Houston for some infections, and I've had bronchitis/bronchial asthma for a week (yes, I get alot of upper respiratory infections, I know). But, no worries. Everything will be fine. I haven't really tested my knee, but I have completed my pack of anti-inflammatories and have been getting regular massages on my IT band. I'm almost positive that is the culprit.

So, what am I going to do about training for Boston? I've considered joining a couple of spring marathon training groups, like Kenyan Way or HoustonFit's spring program, but I think in the end, what is best for me is to plan my own schedule, run/train with my regular group of friends (Knuckleheads), enjoy running the next three months and get ready for a decent showing in Boston. I really don't want to bust my ass training for it since I don't have any time goals other than not to completely bonk and hopefully finish in 4:00-4:15. I know I can be physically and mentally ready to run, even by making up my own training schedule. I've done it before, I can do it again!

Plus, I like the freedom of doing my speedwork and hills when it best fits my schedule, not waiting around for a group in the evenings or risk being late to work in the mornings. There is a hilly half marathon I'm going to run in Bryan at the beginning of March, and I can easily add a few miles to get in an 18 miler that weekend. I figure one more after that, closer to the end of March, maybe an 18-21 miler, will be sufficient. I remember half-ass training on my own for the Marine Corps one year, adding mileage to the runs I ran with my regular training group, and I ended up running a 4:08 which was a PR at the time. I guess its flexibility for me this spring as I try to keep up my running but also not let it take over (remember, I'm OCD and could easily fall into training like a demon for Boston and doing nothing else). I just don't want that to happen. I've reached my goal and I'm going to enjoy every training step on the way to the big show.

Speaking of, I ordered some Boston Marathon clothing, because I'm afraid of stuff selling out, and I want that much more room in my suitcase for stuff I buy at the expo. I got a nice running jacket and a couple of tops. I really wanted to wear the jacket last weekend, but I didn't, and while talking to a couple of my running friends, we agreed that you shouldn't wear clothing from a race you haven't run yet. But in a way, I'm thinking, this is Boston! In the end though, the items will stay in my closet until the race is over. What are your thoughts on wearing race gear that you ordered in advance? I didn't think much of it until I talked with my friends and got their opinions. In a way, I'm afraid it might jinx me, so honestly, I'm not even going to look at the items until April 20.

iPhone: I finally own one. Share your fun apps! Sadly, what I consider my most fun app right now is a to-do list organizer.

Fun thought of the day: Apparently my 3-year-old nephews are beginning to discover they have the ability to aim and pee anywhere. This should make for stories Auntie Kiki will think are hilarious, but not so much the boys' parents...

Picture of the day: I love meerkats! They are so cute, for rodents...

The best laid plans...

Today, I was just going to run the Houston Half Marathon as my first official Boston Marathon training run and test out my knee. I admit that I did not train for this race at all, not like I would have had I been healthy for the past couple of months. My longest run leading up to this was an 8 miler a couple of weeks ago. So I was just hoping for a sub 2 hour run, which would have made me very happy.

I should have known better...

It was a great day, no expectations placed on myself by myself, my knee held up until I finished, and I managed a PR in an official half marathon race: 1:53:31. Dang! I think I've only run two halfs faster, and those were both in the Chicago Marathon. Wasn't expecting or anticipating this kind of run today at all. I am very pleased and excited to get my marathon training underway again. Great way to start! (Edit - every timing mat recorded my pace as 8:39...if I'm anything, I'm consistent!)

I will be heading back to the doctor on Tuesday and will insist on some soft tissue scans, because there clearly is still a problem with my knee. The minute I finished, it buckled and was hurt like hell. No way I would have even finished a full marathon today. But I have time to get the knee fixed and back to normal (I hope!), and its really liking the ice right now.

Thanks so much to my friend and fellow running coach Dave for running the entire race with me! It was fun! And of course, my two biggest supporters, Aimee and her son Senator, were out there to cheer me on at the finish. And I would be remiss if I didn't thank my "special friend" Craig for the beautiful flowers and the tasty post-race Bloody Mary ;)

Congrats to my friends Jenny, Evan, and Neeraj, and Alaina, Cassie and Robyn, and so many others on their great runs this morning!

New Beginnings...

I challenge anyone to be as happy about a new year and new decade as me. Last year SUCKED on so many levels. The only good things I can think of were qualifying for Boston and my mom not dying, and of course, Jamoosh's 12 Beers of Christmas party and Dennis and Emily's New Years Eve party.

So, I think it is appropriate to say that this new year has started off fabulously, and that's all I will say for now. I'm looking forward to good health, silly happiness and zero drama. Yes, the drama princess herself is checking out of the drama department, with a clear head and rejuvinated sense of self. I'm also looking forward to catching up with my running friends in the blogging world. I've been very delinquent about reading posts and posting things myself obviously.

Mom update: She was released from the hospital on December 23 and is back at home. She still cannot feel or use her leg and is primarily using a wheelchair and occasionally a walker. She is continuing her physical therapy and we all hope she gets her strength and use of her leg back. Its been an emotional time, but it was wonderful to all be together for Christmas.

Running update: I'm finally hitting the streets again. Wait, that doesn't sound right does it? Anyway, I'm running and that's about it. I've had knee problems for the past couple of months and have been quite discouraged, but I managed a very decent 8 miles this past Saturday (the most I've run at once in two months) and plan to get out there again this evening. I'm hoping my knee is either getting better or the anti-inflammatories are finally working. I will run the half marathon in Houston in a couple of weeks then will focus on getting ready for Boston. Still hard to believe... Oh yeah, and I need to focus on shedding the massive food and drink intake evidence that is hanging around my hips.

Social life update: Insert big goofy grin here.

Picture of the day:


Fun family pics coming soon!

Why I've been missing in action...

Have I got a story for you!

First of all, a running update: Running? What's that?

I have a very good excuse:

(I posted this on Facebook and thought my blogging friends might be curious where I've been lately...Here you go...)

Two weeks ago tomorrow, my mom started hemorrhaging and was taken to the hospital in College Station. It was deemed that the bleeding was caused by an infection in the area where she had colon surgery a couple of months ago. She received a unit of blood, was transferred to the ICU and was pumped full of antibiotics. It was thought that the antibiotics would stop the bleeding and it seemed to have worked. On that following Thursday, she was transferred out of ICU. Overnight she started bleeding again, alot, and was transferred back to ICU. I went into town on Friday, and she was clearly very sick. Her heart rate would soar as she lost blood, then would stabilize when she received a transfusion. Discussion ensued about getting her to MD Anderson for surgery, which was now necessary but risky because of the area and scar tissue build up. It was not something anyone wanted to do but we had no choice now.

Side note...why MD Anderson? She does not have cancer but did have very aggressive radiation treatment over 13 years ago in her left abdomen/hip area to treat her cancer then. In the past year, she has had a kidney removed and colon surgery and has bone deterioration, all resulting from the radiation damage. Why were we just seeing all of these affects now? Her doctors were expecting to give her 5 more years, not 13+, so now she is dealing with dying tissue and cells that were so damaged.

Anyway, when my dad and I arrived at the hospital the next morning (last Saturday) we were expecting to meet with the doctors and determine how to get her to MD Anderson that weekend. Instead, when we walked into the room, my mother was yelling in pain and was losing a lot of blood. She looked terrible, and I sat at her bedside wiping her face and forehead with cold washcloths. They gave her more transfusions but they only seemed to work for a while. Things became even more dire over the next hour as doctors were scrambling and arrangements were being made for life flight.

It was during this time that we had to say goodbye to my mom. She didn't think she was going to make it and neither did we. It was heartbreaking. We called my brother and sister in law so they could talk to her and say goodbye too. My dad and I were just in a state of shock at how quickly things plummeted. Finally, the life flight people arrived, and by that time, doctors were literally pushing blood into her as she was losing it so quickly. We watched the helicopter take off, and we too left for Houston. My dad was heading straight to the hospital and I was heading to the airport to pick up my brother and sister in law, who caught the next flight out of Dallas.

The chopper flight to Houston was to be about 30 minutes. I remember thinking on the way "okay, my mom's in surgery now." Well, as I was about to get to the airport, my dad called and said the helicopter never made it to MD Anderson because of the weather. We had no idea where she was and were absolutely freaked out, certain she would not survive this delay, and who knows what was being done to her at this other hospital. When we all finally made it to MDA, we found out the helicopter had to stop at a hospital in north Houston and Mom was driven in an ambulance to MDA.

The next thing I remember was the team of doctors coming to talk with us. They had scanned her to identify the exact source of bleeding, which ended up being a burst artery, not her colon, and the burst was most likely caused by a back up of blood caused by a clot in her left leg. They were able to seal the artery without major surgery. At that time, they gave her a 50/50 chance of surviving and warned us of organ failure and the possibility of her losing her leg. It was a grim diagnosis. They also told us that if they immediately did surgery before the scan, she would have bled to death.

So we waited to see her in the Critical Care Unit that night, absolutely exhausted and emotional. We were told she was given a paralytic drug to keep her from moving around, and that she wouldn't be responsive, which was the case when we saw her. It was hard to see, because she was so pumped full of fluids and blood that she was very swollen, and wires and tubes were sticking out of her everywhere. I made some difficult phone calls to concerned family and friends. We decided to leave and get something to eat, because we had some long days ahead.

As we got close to my house and were preparing to find a restaurant, my dad received a call from the cardiovascular doctor to come back to the hospital. We headed back to meet with the doctor, who informed us that he found no signs of brain activity or function, and that she was either severely brain damaged or brain dead. They were going to run the brain function tests overnight but we should expect the worst. We asked about the paralytic drug and was told she was not given one. We were beyond devastated. As we comforted each other in a state of absolute despair, my brother and sister in law went in to see my mom. They said she slightly responded with head movements a couple of times, but that did not happen when my dad and I were in the room. We truly believed she was gone and that the next day, we would be making some tough decisions.

No one slept last Saturday night. We were beyond shocked and devastated. I cannot even begin to describe the feeling of your guts being ripped out. The drive to the hospital the next morning was very somber. We got to my mom's room, and upon seeing her motionless and swollen, and presumably brain dead, my dad and I lost it. We went into the hallway, but there was no consoling each other. My mom was gone.

Then, I remember my brother coming around the corner and telling us that she was trying to open her eyes and wanted to communicate by writing (a breathing tube kept her from talking). We rushed in and sure enough, she began to respond to our voices. She was in restraints to keep her from pulling everything out but it was clear she wanted to write. We got her a paper and pen, but the writing was pretty illegible and we were not understanding what she was trying to communicate. Then she took the pen and started making a bunch of circles, like you do when you try to get the ink in your pen to work again. It was like a game of pictionary...circles, circular, circulation, coil, etc...all which got a "no" headshake from my mom. Then she started thrashing her arms around and I tried to get her to calm down, and I thought she's alive, but there is clearly some brain damage. Then she wrote again, very clearly, the word "helicopter." A-ha! The circles and movement of her hands were trying to ask us about the helicopter! She thought she was still in College Station waiting to get on the helicopter. We explained what happened, and she wrote "what's next?"

As hard as it was to feel the lowest of the low Saturday night and Sunday morning, in about a minute, we were going to the highest of the high. My mom was alive and communicating. We were giddy, really. We spent the rest of the day trying to wrap our minds around what happened and how quickly devastation turned to hope and optimism. Relief is the best way to describe it. On Monday, she was stable enough for doctors to do an artery bypass in her leg to save it.

As the days have passed, she keeps improving beyond expectations. She has now been moved out of ICU into a regular room, and there is talk about releasing her to a rehab center in Bryan/College Station in the next few days, depending on what some scans of the affected area show on Monday . She has a very long recovery ahead of her but we remain very hopeful that she will eventually make a full recovery. She is fully communicating, is alert, and her swelling has gone down a ton. She's anxious to get out and start therapy and hopefully get full use of her leg back. She has had some bleeding here and there, but no one is concerned, and she has certainly not needed more transfusions.

As close as my family was before this, we became even closer during this time, sharing our emotions and being there for each other, thinking the worst then experiencing the best. We are all just beyond exhausted but find it hard to complain because we could have easily been planning a funeral right now instead of trying to get some rest here and there.

Events that I find interesting and fascinating, how everything that seemed disasterous at the time came together perfectly:

1. If the life flight didn't get to College Station when it did, the doctors there were prepared to open her up and stop the bleeding. If surgery had happened, she would have died because the source of the bleeding was not where it was thought to be.
2. The chopper left College Station with two units of blood. Being forced by weather to land before their destination most likely saved my mom's life, as they ran out of blood and got another 10 units from the hospital they stopped at. All ten units had been used at the hospital and in ambulance transit.
3. The doctor at MDA said my mom literally did not have another minute to spare. This happened on a Saturday morning...during the week, traffic would have been unbearable on 290.
4. All in all, in about a 24+ hour span, she received over 20 units of blood (I think. There are a couple of different calculations floating around), about twice the amount normally in her body.
5. She did indeed receive the paralytic drug, which explains why she was non-responsive Saturday night. Apparently that drug even paralyzes your pupils and reflexes.


Soooo, I'm ready to get back to running! Comfort food is indeed comforting but my waistline is disappearing!

A runner's holy grail...

I have found it! Its no secret to runners everywhere but it has the most magical powers...the foam roller!! I FINALLY tested out my legs this week, getting in an easy 3 miles on Monday and 4 miles this morning, and my left leg is feeling much better, though I am still having some soreness in my glute and IT band. I've been using the foam roller religiously this week. And a new pair of shoes helps.

What to do, what to do? Since my leg has been sore for quite some time and I've taken alot of time off from running, I need to seriously consider not running the full in Houston in January and switch to the half. I'm very conflicted, and very concerned that if I run the full and its a great day, I'll push myself and end up needing even more time off. I don't want to have lingering issues for Boston.

But then again, this is my hometown marathon, and I've run 5 in a row, and I see it as a "long run" before Boston, and I feel a little like switching to the half is giving up in some way. I don't know. I've never dealt with such lingering issues, never had such a difficult time recovering from a race. And honestly, I've struggled big-time with motivation (until this morning...had a pretty good run) and am not sure I want to run another marathon before Boston. Sigh... I just don't know what to do. Help?

My spirits would definitely be lifted if the Aggies would win the football games they are supposed to!! Grrr...

Pictures of the day:

Its official !

Got my Boston Marathon confirmation card today! Woo hoo!! Now I just need to get my butt back to running. A two week layoff seems like eternity...



Funny thing is, I had a dream last night that I was running the Chicago Marathon again, but this time is was really hilly, like up and down, up and down, and I stopped at a friend's house at mile 10, had a sandwich, watched some TV, and then realized it was dark outside and the marathon was over. Oops.

Halloween pics...

Since I still haven't started running again (soon, very soon, I hope!), I don't have an update in that department, except that I've had a minor set-back...trying to open a stuck window over the weekend resulted in a pulled muscle in my back. At least I think its just a pulled muscle...I'll find out more tomorrow when I visit my doctor. Pain meds and muscle relaxants have been my best friends this week. Unfortunately, sitting down is most bothersome, and lucky me, I am at my desk most of the time at work. I'm now contemplating switching to the Houston half marathon instead of trying the full. We'll see...

Anyway, I had a wonderful time in Dallas last weekend trick or treating with my niece and nephews. I really enjoyed spending some time with them and my brother and sister in law. What an adorable family they are!

Me (Auntie Kiki), Buzz Lightyear and Spiderman:


Me and my favorite Fairy Princess:


Trick or treat!


Collecting candy for her daddy and Kiki!


Re-inspecting the loot the next morning:

Twiddling my thumbs in boredom-ville.

This taking time off from running is tough! We finally have some awesome cool weather and I'm being a couch potato. Actually, I'm getting alot of stuff done around my house and have had two great massages. My leg/calf/hip/knee/IT band no longer hurt when I walk. I'll start cross-training on Monday and will try a short run or two by next weekend. Got to break in my new shoes sometime!

My friend and fellow running coach Dave pointed out that because the Chicago course was so flat and there wasn't much change in the terrain, I used the same muscles the entire run instead of engaging other muscles like you would on a hilly course, and that might be a really valid reason why my recovery was difficult this time. Then again, Dave ran Chicago and then two weeks later ran Marine Corps, so his sanity is questionable...

During my downtime, I thought it would be funny to dress my cat Millie in a Halloween costume. She didn't think it was so funny...



*** HAPPY HALLOWEEN ***

The art of recovery.

First of all, CONGRATS to some of my readers who ran the Houston Half this morning:

Jenny Shenny (one of my very best friends, who is truly an inspiration, and funny as hell)
Jamoosh (who was looking strong and focused)
Neeraj (who I completely missed on the course, probably because he ran so fast he was blurry)
Evan (who I FINALLY got to meet in person!)
Karen (who is back from Abu Dhabi, for a while)
Bob (who was surrounded by ladies and having a great time)
Pattie (who wasn't feeling well but persevered)
Dennis (who has like 17 jobs, so I'm not sure he reads this anymore)
Doug (who looked like he was having a solid run)
Felix (who is a stud runner period. I hope he reads my blog, maybe??)

I really enjoyed cheering everyone on! At first it was tough to be on the sidelines, but then I realized what a great experience watching a race is. I was filled with a sense of pride, not only for my friends and running buddies, but for everyone who made the decision and commitment to run. As I watched runners in all shapes, sizes, ages and speeds pass me, I wondered what motivated each one and what their stories were. I'm sure there were some of the following:

• first timers
• those trying to lose weight
• those who have lost alot of weight
• those who just had a baby, or are expecting and don't know it yet
• those who are recovering alcohlics/drug users
• those who were running with a hangover
• those who are smokers or those trying to or have quit
• those who have no support from family or friends (this breaks my heart)
• those who had every member of their family cheering them on
• those who are new grandparents
• those who just lost a loved one
• those who have recovered from a serious injury
• those who have cancer or are survivors
• those who are getting married
• those who are getting divorced
• those who lost their job
• those who landed the job of their dreams
• those who are physically/mentally abused, or are doing the abusing
• those who have murdered someone and dumped them in the woods

I didn't say that all of my thoughts made the sense, but it really does make you wonder who is out there and what their stories are. Absolutely fascinating to me.

Marathon recovery: I will admit, running as well as I did in Chicago made me feel invincible. That's probably why I did not use any sense whatsoever in my post-marathon recovery, and now I'm paying the price. Truth is, I'm just a pretty decent runner who had a really great marathon, nothing more, nothing less. If I had had my wits about me, I would never have attempted the 8 mile run I did last week and the 12 mile run I did yesterday, especially given the cramping I experienced during the marathon and the long time it took for soreness to subside.

When I ran 8 miles last week, I was sore, but I chalked it up to lingering aches from the race and thought that I just needed to warm up my muscles and get them going again. I don't think there is anything wrong with that plan, maybe I should have just done 6 miles, but what I did and did not do next has caused more problems than I started with.

This past week, I did nothing...no cross-training, no running. That is mostly because my grandmother passed, her funeral was Monday, I was still not feeling 100%, and I was emotional and tired. So what do I do? I decide that its okay for me to run an easy 12 miles on Saturday. Big mistake. I don't care who you are, there is nothing "easy" about 12 miles. But hey, I'm a Boston qualifier, I can do anything. Yeah, not so much. Hello reality.

The weather was nice and cold, by Houston standards, for the run on Saturday. But as soon as we started, both of my Achilles started to hurt as did my left glute. I thought I could run through it, but by the time I stopped at the rest stop around mile 6-7, the pain in those areas had not ceased or eased up. It may have been worse. However, I was determined to make it back to the start using a few shortcuts to cut my mileage. My motivation? The fact that I had not really worked out much and have been eating like a pig, and I wanted to burn as many calories as possible. Well, after the run, I was in bad shape...it hurt to walk (Achilles) and it felt like I had been shot in the butt. By the end of the day, my knee hurt, my hamstring was ridiculously tight, and my IT band was bothering me. Fabulous. Because I ran hurt, I ended up injuring other areas of my leg, most likely because I was compensating for what hurt during my run.

I immediately decided that I would take two solid weeks off of running. It is not worth aggravating nagging injuries and/or injuring myself further. I have too much to look forward to. I'm mad at myself, because really, I knew better. I'm experienced enough to know that for me, I need a really solid recovery period after a marathon. But now I will use the elliptical, get massage therapy, and am entertaining some physical therapy. My biggest fears are Achilles tendonitis and a prolonged IT band problem. I hope its not too late to play it safe and smart...

Moral of the story: Do as I say, not as I do...

Oh yeah... How about those AGGIES!!!! WHOOP!!!!! Last time we beat Tech in Lubbock, I was a senior in College. Trust me, that was quite a while ago. And for the record, we didn't just beat Tech, we kicked their asses.

Post-marathon blues...

Ugh. I hate post-marathon depression and utter lack of motivation. No matter how well I do in a marathon, I always feel a bit of a let-down once the event I trained so hard for is over. Yes, I still have Houston and Boston to look forward to, and I'm sure I will snap out of this rut soon, but motivation is hard to come by this week. One reason for that is my wonderful grandmother, Mom C, passed away last Friday, and her funeral was Monday. I will post a tribute to her when I get some more time and I'm not so easily overcome with emotion...the floodgates opened wide this week...we were very close.

And, why is it than when a marathon is over and I cut back my miles for recovery, I still eat like I'm in serious training mode??

Running update: I ran a recovery 8 miles with my group on Saturday, and it was a very nice run with some cooler temps. I was still sore in many places, and the run helped me identify what hurt and if I should be concerned about anything. No to the latter, and I'm just fine now...all recovered! I plan to run about 11-12 miles in the morning with our runners training for the San Antonio Marathon, as tomorrow is their big 21 miler! Then on Sunday morning, I will be out to cheer on my friends running the Koala/Luke's Houston Half. Wish I was running it, but I know myself...I would not be able to just take it easy out there while I'm still recovering a bit. Plus, there are hills and its a dreaded three loop course. Blah.

Hey Jamoosh! Your wall of fame definitely needs the 26.2 Princess. Just sayin' (or shamelessly plugging).

Picture of the day:

My Chicago Marathon report...

(Warning - This is long. Clif Notes version here.)

The Wednesday and Thursday before Chicago, I was sick. Stay at home and sleep all day kind of sick. I was very upset and started taking every allergy/cold/flu over-the-counter pill, inhaler, expectorant, etc. that I could get my hands on. The last thing a runner wants is to get sick days before the marathon. So with a congested head, sore throat and gross cough, I boarded the plane to Chicago on Friday. My plan was to get in, go to bed, get up, eat pasta, go to bed, and hit the expo on Saturday morning, then spend the day back in bed. Hahahahaha...

Friday:
It was 44 degrees and raining when we landed. I hopped on one of those downtown hotel shuttles, and proceeded to sit in a van, in traffic, with the heat on full, for about 1.5 hours. The van driver dropped me off at the wrong hotel ("its just around the corner," no, it was two blocks away), and when I finally made it to the hotel and got checked-in, I decided it was time to hit the drugstore to replenish all of my medications and syrups. I eventually found a Walgreens, got my stuff, and was overwhelmed with the need and desire to get cheese popcorn from Garrett's. I walked several blocks in the rain and cold to get this delicious goodness. It was indeed worth it. I was happy.

I took my medicine and decided to unpack before I went on my search for spaghetti. As I was laying everything out, I realized to my horror that I forgot to bring my beloved running skirt! At this point, I did not know if I would wear just the skirt or some running pants on marathon day, so the skirt was essential (I always wear something over running pants anyway). I was so mad, so tired, that I started to cry. I went back outside and walked a couple of blocks to Niketown, which was a zoo. I found a skirt, but it was a size too big. I bought it anyway, thinking I would just pin it at the waist. Which required me to go back to Walgreens for large safety pins. Anyway, outside of Niketown, they had on the wall the names of every runner for the marathon (stupid cell phone camera blurriness):



Running skirt in hand, I headed back to the hotel and got my pasta, and a glass of wine, which was much needed, though I don't usually drink 48-72 hours before a marathon. At some point during my meal, I decided I was not happy with the larger skirt, so yes, I headed back out, this time to Nordstrom's. They have Nike stuff there, and by sheer luck, I found the skirt in the size I needed!! I also found a really awesome green coat. I was happy again...

Saturday:
I literally shot out of bed when my alarm went off at 7:30...I thought it was Sunday and that I was late for the race. That'll wake you up really fast! I felt a little better, and the rain was gone. I headed for the expo. Since I got there when it first opened, there weren't huge crowds, so I can say that the expo was nice and big and easy to get around, but, meh, it wasn't anything to get excited about. I browsed some of the booths, but really just wanted to get my bib and chip and tyvek for in the morning. But, something caught my eye...


Its like a sign from above!!!

And then it was nappy time. Ahhh...

Saturday evening I headed to CPK for some thin crust BBQ chicken pizza. I like to eat pizza the night before the marathon, and I had this pizza before my 21 miler, which ended up being a really good run, so my superstitious self decided this was the only option. It hit the spot. I set three alarms for in the morning, cleared my mind of any race plans, hopes, dreams, and got a very sound night's sleep.

Sunday, Marathon day:
When I woke up, first thing I did was check the weather channel. This was it...the weather was going to determine my plan. It was calm and 31 degrees. OMG, I have just been handed the best gift. It was then that I knew I could very possibly and realistically qualify for Boston today. I wore capri running pants, my skirt, a jog bra, and a long sleeve top for the run. I put on tyvek pants and a $3 sweatshirt from Walgreens to toss before the race started. I was feeling as good as I could have hoped, with just a slight cough and some runny nose issues. I walked the mile or so to the starting area, checked in my bag, and headed to my start corral. Luckily, my finish in Houston this year qualified me for one of the start corrals (C). (I've decided that qualifying for a start corral is the only way to go, and once you do, you don't want to go back...sort of like flying first class...). Anyway, I gathered with the 3:40 pace group. I needed a 3:45 to BQ, but something told me to run with the 3:40s, which would give me some room if I fell back. We are trained to not go out fast, but at this point, I was either going to qualify or I was going to be carried off the course on a stretcher...that is how hard I was planning to push myself. And, I had no idea if the pacers were going to be accurate...everyone knows that those in Houston are definitely not, so my trust in pacers was no where near 100%.

And we were off. The first several miles were uneventful, except for the near trampling a couple of people around me almost experienced. Man, it was tight and merciless in the 3:40 group. I knew people meant business. The route took us north near the lake and through the zoo area. Then we headed back south for miles 8-12, and this is where my first doubts crept into my mind. I was starting to stuggle, all mentally, and for about 30 seconds, I considered quitting, thinking that I was sick and emotional and running this fast and hard was not a good idea and that I was going to fail myself and my family if I had a crappy run. Obviously, I rallied, and I finished the first half in 1:49:58. By far the fasted I have run a half, and I was three minutes ahead of where I needed to be to finish in 3:45. Okay, a very little bit of breathing room. I was feeling better.

Miles 13-19 or so took us through some neighborhoods, I think. In all honesty, I was so focused on my running, listening to my body, making minor adjustments, and planning the next mile that I hardly looked at my surroundings during the entire race. Its like my head and neck didn't want to move from side to side. I kept my eyes straight ahead, always making sure I had the pacers in my sight. It was around this time that I wanted to quit again, and then changed my mind again. Mile 19 in Houston is the start of a very long and "hilly" path to the finish, and I always dread it. I had to keep reminding myself that this was not Houston, and I had no reason to fear the last part of the race. I think that helped me work through any "wall" issues that might have briefly flared up.

Miles 20-24 were crucial for me. I knew that to finish in 3:45, I needed to reach mile 21 by 3 hours. I reached it just under. I tried to do some 5.2 mile calculations, but it was useless. My mind was blank by then. But I did manage to figure out that I needed to maintain around a 9 minute pace to qualify. It was then that I knew I would, because I hadn't been running anywhere near 9 minutes all day, and if I could just keep it up for five more miles, five measly miles, I would be golden. I was starting to get excited and realize just what a day I was having.

Then came mile 24... I started to experience cramping in my calves that I have never experienced before. My toes curled, my feet arched, and a couple of steps made me feel like I was going to fall. I had visions of this, seriously. I thought this was how I was going to end my race. Not good. I wasn't sure what to do since I've never cramped like that before. I was taking my Endurolytes and Gu regularly throughout the race, and I was walking and fueling with water and Gatorade at every other water stop. I really thought at this point, qualifying or even finishing with a PR was going to be a serious challenge for me physically. For the first time, it wasn't something mental that was going to make or break a run. I was in some serious pain. I didn't want to stop and stretch, not knowing exactly how much of a time buffer I had, so I thought that lengthening my stride and focusing on really hitting with the heel of my foot and running through to my toes would provide the stretch I needed. It seemed to work and I managed to keep my pace and keep those pacers within my sight. Though the cramping wasn't completely gone, something worked to keep it at bay. Whew...

Chicago did a great thing by identifying the 25.2 mark. It was then that I really knew without any doubt that I would BQ. With one mile left, I had about 13-14 minutes to cover it...I could walk that, but definitely didn't want to. It was the longest mile I've ever run. I chanted to myself "you can do anything for 9 minutes, less than 9 minutes." I had never been so happy to see the 26 mile mark, which seemed like it would never come. We turned a corner, and there was the finish line. I could not believe it.

3:40:30

When I crossed the line and saw 3:43 on the clock (I was 3 minutes behind gun time) and I stopped my watch and saw 3:40, well, I've never felt anything like that before. It was truly an emotional moment. I was crying a little, trying to stretch a little and most of all, I just wanted my phone so I could call family and friends. I was ridiculously sore and exhausted and was determined to keep walking forward or someone would have hauled me to a medical tent. I don't remember much about this time except that everything changed for me once I crossed the finish line. I was no longer someone dreaming about going to Boston, I was definitely going to Boston. Its a feeling I won't soon forget or shake.

The aftermath:
A few days after the marathon, I'm still sore and still elated, and eating just about everything in my sight. It has been wonderful to share this experience and happiness with my friends and family. Boston is the pinnacle of my sport, and I'm going. Wow. When I started running in 2004, I never dreamed this was a remote possibility. I'm now more motivated than ever to go back to my training group and let the runners know that anything is indeed possible! I want to encourage them to work their way through negative thoughts, fears, doubts, to keep running when they are tired, to not give up, to have patience, and to aim high.

Special thanks to my "pit crew" - my family - who were with me in spirit, and to my fabulous friends Aimee and Jennifer for this wonderful surprise when I got home late Sunday night. The bottle of champagne is not in the picture because I was already drinking it...



In other news...

HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY to my precious, and hilarious, nephews!! Auntie Kiki loves you guys so very much!

Lucky #9...

I write this at 4:45 am, because I can't sleep, either because I'm too excited, too tired, or most likely a combination of the two. Is it possible to be so exhausted that you can't sleep? I had a great marathon in Chicago. I could not have asked for better running weather, and I seized the opportunity. I qualified for Boston! 3:40:30 was my unofficial chip time. That is not a typo, though I am still trying to get my head around it myself. I knocked 12 minutes off my PR. Huh?? Who am I? how did this happen? I can't believe it!

Since my eyes sting, my body hurts and I am fuzzy-headed, I will recap the entire marathon in full in my next post, because it was amazing and interesting and full of new experiences. Until then, I will leave you with some random thoughts that went through my mind before and during the marathon:

• Brrr. Its cold. Perfect!
• Crap, this sweatshirt left lint on my running shirt. I wonder if that will show up in the pictures.
• Why are all of these people running before they get to the start line? They will be sorry.
• Mom C and Pop C, I'm running this for you. (My grandmother Mom C is in her last few days. I said goodbye to her on Tuesday. Damn that was hard... And Pop C passed away in May.)
• Is that the Sears Tower?
• That was a pretty decent 5k. I wonder how long I can keep this pace up.
• Those houses remind me of Europe. Oh, one is for sale! I wonder how much it is...
• I went out too fast. Crap, I'm going to catch grief for going out to fast.
• I want to quit. I can just fake an injury. I've been sick all week, my grandmother is dying and my mom is recovering from major surgery. No one will question it.
• Nah.
• Is that the Sears Tower?
• Holy crap, I just PR'd the half marathon. I'm half way done! That wasn't too bad at all.
• The Houston Marathon crowd is much louder.
• I think I can PR, even come close to BQing.
• Feeling good and strong. Keep it up!
• I want to quit.
• Nah.
• Is that the Sears Tower?
• Where the heck are we?
• Wow, I'm on pace for a BQ.
• Do I need to run an 8 or 9 minute mile pace to BQ? Ugh, I can't think!
• I hope I don't have a heart attack.
• My race pics are going to turn out awful.
• C'mon legs, don't fail me now.
• Cramps! No!! Toe-curling calf cramps! Only two miles left! NO!!
• I wonder if someone will carry me the last two miles. If so, will I still qualify?
• Heck, I'll just take a PR. These cramps are about to do me in.
• Heck no, I did not just run my ass off for 24.5 miles to not qualify now.
• I want to quit.
• NO!
• I'm never running another marathon.
• There's the 26 mile marker!!
  
• There's the finish line!!
  
• Holy crap! I qualified for Boston!! Wait, what???
• Where's the beer and bananas?